Things I Learned from Sports Movies

Every sports movie will have an ‘80s sound track, no matter what decade it was produced in. The raspy singer will over-stretch his limited vocal range on the chorus causing the local bat population to go into estrus. The keyboards will feature default Casio sounds that are barely audible under the wailing guitar pyrotechnics. A […]

What’s in your background check?

I once ran a background check on myself. Hey, I don’t always know where I’ve been. Most of it was fairly straightforward (previous addresses, phone numbers, tax records, etc.) but a few things arose that totally threw me. How did they know these things? For instance, they knew… …that I roll the toilet paper over, […]

Friday Question #3

  If you could have a soundtrack play whenever you entered a room, what would it be?  

Caption Time #269

I shit you not

I travel for work a lot and my kittens have not been too happy about it. Last night, I figured I would make it up to them. I gave them catnip, brushed them, played with them for nearly two hours and told them they could sleep on the bed with me. The older one (Z) […]

Things I Learned from Movies, Ninjas

Modern Ninjas are generally six foot-tall white or Asian males, unmarried, who live on islands working as bodyguards for evil, French billionaires. Guard dogs cannot kill or overpower Ninjas, no matter how large or well-trained. Ninjas are not only silent — they’re mute from birth. They moonlight as mimes. Orphaned, white teenagers invariably become better […]

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