This will not end well

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Caption Time #83

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In the movies…

…women’s purses only have four items in them …an entire corporation’s data fits on a single disk …men can unhook bras on the first try …storms and wars can be quieted when the hero has something important to say …predatory animals suffer from glaucoma and see in thermovision …any computer security system can be broken […]

Dairy Queen

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Meat Floss

Minnie sent me an excellent book entitled “Here Speeching American”, something my readers excel at. I love the Engrish shopping sections, one in particular from—where else—Japan. Door No. 1 Entrance Door No. 2 Exitrance Aisle A: Caned Fruit Aisle B: Caned Vegitarian Caned Fish Meat Caned Meat Floss “A lovely paper for your toilet life” […]

Mr. Outback

Few things are more pathetic than wealthy yuppies coming into Royal Oak and trying to look hip, but instead looking like extras from Crocodile Dundee III. This fellow had suede boots which I’m certain belonged to his wife. I would have drawn her as well, but my Wacom pen was not feeling sluttish this evening. […]

1st Level Web Master Spells

Protection against Comic Sans: Protects beginning Web Designers from succumbing to the fetid odor of this most noxious font. Dispel MIDI: Makes the spell caster immune to the dissonant shrieks of embedded MIDI soundtracks on personal homepages. Detect Rainbow: Spell destroys rainbow divider bars. Temporarily dispels rainbow-colored text. Mage Page: Magic spell to dispel popup […]

Story Problem No. 2

Dog is to London Underground as trepanation is to ________ . Misery is to sophistry as sea cucumbers are to ________ . Geysers are to petting zoos as wingnuts are to ________ .

Martini garnishes to avoid

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Caption Time #83

Based on an idea by reader, H. R. Gerrard, today’s Caption Time will be a cartoon instead of a photo. Have at it! viagra free viagra buy viagra online generic viagra how does viagra work cheap viagra buy viagra buy viagra online inurl viagra 6 free samples viagra online viagra for women viagra side effects […]

Caption Time #82

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The guy next to me on the plane

Now, I admit this is not a great sketch. The reason I like it is that I did it in full view of this man without his knowledge. He was jamming away to tunes. I assumed he had an iPod or something. Then I realized he was humming to himself and making astonishing impersonations of […]

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