Why God, why? II

Someone pointed me to the second in a series of products that I simply do not grasp. This one being Preggie and Queasy Pops.

I shit you not.

Preggie Pops are alleged to ease morning sickness. This is no doubt a great relief to many women who will wonder if they cause pregnancy. I wonder, do they come in sperm flavor? Is the center filled with Contraceptive Jelly?

It’s the Queasy Pops that have me a little off-put. Do they make one ill? Perhaps you ram one down the throat with great force to induce vomiting. Do they come in queasy flavors, such as Toothpaste-Orange Juice, delicious Salsa-Berry Yogurt, and my personal favorite: sumptuous Catnip Omelette.

What if other diseases and medical conditions had their own treats? Candida Candies, Bubonic Bon-bons, or Plague Pops anyone?

I know you can do better. Let’s hear ’em.

33 Replies to “Why God, why? II”

  1. Dangling Dildos
    Angry Ants
    Vaginal Boats
    Excellent Excretment – “now on a stick!”
    Zingling Toenails
    Interesting Booggers
    Large Lumps
    Large Lumps – “now in cherry”
    Available Scabs

    ๐Ÿ˜›

    Barfing Bagels
    Sewer Suckers

    :wtf:

  2. Dangling Dildos
    Angry Ants
    Vaginal Pops
    Excellent Excretment – “now on a stick!”
    Zingling Toenails
    Interesting Booggers
    Large Lumps
    Large Lumps – “now in cherry”
    Available Scabs

    ๐Ÿ˜›

    Barfing Bagels
    Sewer Suckers

    :wtf:

  3. Dude, they don’t work either. I felt queesy for 3 months straight. You think a little pop is going to make me feel better? What a laugh. It’s basically snake oil. They should call them yet-another-thing-to-put-in-your-stomach-so-you -can-throw-it-up-out-the-car-window-on-the-way-to work-pops.

  4. Preggie pops??? Do they really cause pregnancy????? My mommy never told me the facts of life. Do you eat it after you use it???:-? Thats pretty sick

  5. I could use a vacuum cover. My vacuum sits where it was used last, for maybe weeks at a time. Perhaps a “maid” or “housekeeper” cover. Then maybe it would use itself?

  6. I saw the dress-a-vac in the Carol Wright catalog two weeks ago and asked for the Bunny for Christmas from my parents. They’re cute and way more functional than most people’s families…
    mine included. ๐Ÿ˜Ž

  7. How about a Herpie-Slurpie or mabey Pox-pops, now in a new SmallPox box!!!
    Next time you have a dentist appointment, mabey he’ll give you a perscription for a toothache-shake, its sure to give you an icecream headache, but when you do get an order of microwave-migrane popcorn, will it give it or take it away——you’ll just have to find out!!!!!!!!:boobs::idea::idea::idea:

  8. Preggie Pops!!!? For ease of delivery……….Just push the pin, remember, one “pop” and it’s gone…..
    Preggie Drops!!!? Wanna have an early end to pregnancy? Sitting too high. Have a Preggie Drop………..better than a long ride in a bumpy car or a cup of olive oil………..you’ll be in Delivery before you know it………….
    Take a drop and a pop and you’ll never be pregnant again………..hated by Right to Lifers.

  9. How about lint lollies for the twisted vaccuum covers?

    I’m sure someone will find a way to overdose on those things eventually. ๐Ÿ˜€

  10. How about:
    “Eczema Etouffee”
    “Zit Creams”
    “Chicken Pox Pie”
    “Red Death Roux”
    “Goiter Gumbo”
    “Pink Eye Pasties”
    “Coughin’ Coffee”

  11. “lint-lollies” sounds like something you’d use for the nasty crud in your man’s belly-button!:wtf:

  12. lessee… my ex-sister already invented Kipper Kookiesร‚ยญร‚ยฎ — tasty morsels with the smell and flavour of real english Kippers.

    But I think if I could have something really disgusting, an emetic of proportions, perhaps Chalk-o-lit Pudding. YUM!

  13. If you get the “Spew Flu” “Scale Dick” “Phelgm Ball Fever” “Festering Weeping Pussed out Lesions” “Parasitic Rectal Itch” or “JacobKrutchfeldHirschmans Disease ” No Pop ain’t tough enough.

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