Where the beautiful people are

Back in the 1980s when it seemed every major city had a goth club called “Asylum” or “Sanctuary”, there was an upsurge in singles bars for yuppies. Most had catchy, but annoying, two-syllable names like, “Scruples” or “Mixers” or “Wombats”. Recently, specialty clubs for special needs groups have popped up around the world. I imagine they’d have names like …

  1. Distractions: For singles with A.D.D.
  2. Twitches: The meeting place for singles with Tourette Syndrome.
  3. Wheezer’s: Where well-to-do asthmatics mingle.
  4. Poseurs: The place for aging new wavers.
  5. Stumpy’s: Serving the single amputee since 1982.
  6. Trekkies! for the permanently single.
  7. Doody’s: A continental dining experience for the incontinent.
  8. Mullets: A NASCAR singles bar.
  9. Stanky’s: Where the great unwashed masses mingle
  10. Furries Place for Pervies
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30 Replies to “Where the beautiful people are”

  1. Hmmm, maybe I don’t need to out more, after all.

    Can anybody figure out exactly what is popping out from under Queen Amidala’s, um, dress?

  2. oh, of course, there’s my personal favourite:
    RUSTY’s — for the cast-iron clad clod who should be visiting NAPPIE’s

  3. :boxers:

    SHORTS … for middle-aged men who buy Corvettes …

    :boobs::boobs:
    PIERCED … for Davezilla.com readers/commenters/kinky submitters …

    SUBMISSIONS … see above

    :thong:
    LINERS … for goth chicks w/P.M.S. … it’s only a GAY BAR by default, ‘cuz the men are scared to go in there … (it’s next door to “SUBMISSIONS”)

  4. I have never seen Star Wars the film all the way through. I seem to always fall asleep during the film. The reason is perfectly clear.

    Fun with emocons

    :geek:
    :boobs::boobs:
    :undies:

  5. You mean there are conventions for star wars, this is not an urban legend? Do these people need a life? A job?:roll:

    Blue

  6. I’m overwhelmed. Can’t think of anything, except that that is really impressive.

    Well, okay, “Golden Rain” – where the sprinkler system is filled with urine.

    Did anyone see Shawny Davis become the first african-american skating champion (last weekend in Moskou)? He, Derek Parra, KC Boutiette and another (forgot his name) beat the rest of the skating world (Holland) to shit.
    Really good to see (we’ve been domineering for the last 10 years, so finally somebody else ….)

  7. The Blogtown Cafe` – where all live journal folk meet up and say – “Hey are you Rob195? Cool! It is me BadMofo420! Your bio said you were 6’3″… ”

    Rob195, “No, I am 63 inches. Hahahahahahahahaha!”

  8. BLOGGERS– :geek: That place where you drink, and then write about how your drinking was and what you drank and how much it cost and who was there, ala Andy Warhol diary. Mood: crapulent.

    UNDIES– :boxers: :undies: A bar where overweight women in lingerie and balding men in boxers can recall the glory days of Fleetwood Mac.

    STALLONE’S–:twisted: In Philly, Rocky memorabilia hangs on the wall and girls from south Jersey arm wrestle with unemployed car mechanics.

    ASTROS–:idea: New Agers, Astrologers and Wiccans gather in Bacchanal covens upon barstools.

  9. EIGHTIES – where I’m going to be hangin’ out in six decades or so, wearin’ my goth make-up :dead:, my sexy lingerie :thong: (or :undies: Depends, if I even HAVE a bladder by then… if not, I’ll go COMMANDO, like I am at the moment), wearin’ a leather brassiere for my :boobs::boobs: (because, well … gravity DOES take its toll, boyz), and drinkin’ my Guinness out of a :java: cup, tryin’ relive my childhood from that decade known as “The Friggin’ Riggin Years” (as my grandmother would have said).

    🙄

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