Unused euphemisms for boy bits

  1. Atrocious Mushroom Usage: “Then he pulled out his Atrocious Mushroom…”
  2. Pleasure Girder* Usage: “He ravished me with his Enormous Pleasure Girder.”
  3. Fun Log Usage: “Hey, baby. Bet ya never seen a Fun Log like this.”
  4. Pink Zucchini* Usage: “I was tending the Pink Zucchini.”
  5. Land Eel Usage: “Don’t be frightened. That’s just my Land Eel peeking out.”
  6. Boy Tube* Usage: “You got a Boy Tube.”
  7. Remote Control Usage: “Stop playing with your Remote Control when we have company.”
  8. Boy Canolli Usage: “I wasn’t going to do him till he showed me hos Boy Canolli.”
  9. TEH Peeneh Usage: “LULZ! Invisble peeneh! kthxbai.”
  10. What are your personal names for boy bits? Please don’t be too gross.

*With assistance from the lovely Natalie. Tomorrow: euphemisms for girly bits.

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32 Replies to “Unused euphemisms for boy bits”

  1. Mine would be red dog… as in “Don’t you be puttin’ your red dog in me red dog, Red dog!!! As for Mandy, If you won’t wear the solar bikini for Dave, do it for the planet Earth on this… Earth Day 2007!!

  2. if mandy’s wearing the solar bikini i guess the “mad dog” or the “englishman” would be up for a little sun stroke.
    -“the pepito” the latin version of little johnny
    -“the hammer” well, it is a tool
    -“the wee willy winky” we all know the short story
    -“big jim and the twins” sounds like paul bunyan’s southern friends.
    -“the roddy mcdowel” of “lassie cum home”, “bermuda triangle”, “the pied piper”, “my friend flicka”, “thunderhead-son of flicka”, “tuna clipper”, “big timber”, “inside daisy clover”, “bedknobs and broomsticks”, “hello down there”, “nutcracker fantasy”, “the naked target” fame. :wang:

  3. Junkman left me laughing my spleen up with all those, consequently I can’t think of anything else.

    Well, nothing worth repeating in anycase.

  4. “Pitchin’ a tent, sportin’ a wood, stiffie, flesh rocket, tall tommy, Mr. Morbis, the march is on, icycle has formed, Jack’s magic beanstalk, rigor mortis has set in, Mr. Mushroom-head, mushroom on a stick, purple headed yogurt slinger… oh, and a pedro.” – Varsity Blues

  5. Actually, I’m trying to come up with terms that couldn’t be used as a euphemism for boy bits. Now that I wrote that, anything with ‘boy’ in it usually isn’t good and you can definitely scratch anything off the list that uses the word ‘cute’. Other than that, you’re pretty much good to go.

  6. R U talking about Mr. Happy? Darth Laider? The ole cowkiller?! :wang: P.S.- If you wrap your guinea pig with duct tape, it won’t explode! :wtf:

  7. One-eyed trouser trout

    Purple-headed hose monster

    Willy – Usage: I’m ’bout to free Willy…

  8. [Comment ID #175232 will be quoted here]

    i couldn’t believe roddy mcdowell did “bit” parts in all those wierdly named movies.
    :wtf:

  9. Spelunker – crevase explorer
    Al Gore – wooden & stiff
    one of the Hardy Boys – if you know what Nancy Drew
    Dickasaurus Rex – Walks on two legs and devours all it sees
    Willy & the poor boys – for the CCR fans
    the Library – has both Longfellow & Balsac
    piledriver – more for the gay penis owner
    USS Enterprise – boldly goes where no man has gone before

  10. [Comment ID #175324 will be quoted here]

    A list of all of the things you don’t need with your solar powered bikini

  11. Hey folks … go vote for Davezilla on the blogger’s choice awards (click on icon at top). I just checked and there’s only been 17 freaking votes cast. It shows the name of who has voted so we know who you are … you bunch of slackers!
    Poor Dave … after all you do for us … I just don’t get it.

  12. Heat Seeking Moisture Missile-
    My Enormous Male Cruelty

    (Courtesy of a Robin William’s routine)

  13. Other than simple names, like “Little Phil”, or when aroused “Big Phil and the Twins”, my favorite comes a line in the movie “Dirty Old Men”, where the old guy asks his son if he had sex with his girlfriend. “Son, did you take the skin boat to tuna town?”

    Love it! :mrgreen:

  14. I kindly suggest the following:

    1. Spunk Rocket
    2. Love Plunger
    3. Monkey Pump
    4. Moisture Magnet
    5. Crotch Sausage
    6. Frank
    7. My Brain

  15. Inflatable monster usage: As in look, Mommy, look at my inflatable monster. Can I play with it? Oh. Nevermind.

  16. Fudge Packer
    Richard
    Dark Lord
    Lord Vader
    Willy Nelson
    Wee Willy Winky :wtf:
    Short Stop 🙁
    Quarterback (uncircumsized)
    Pixie Stick 🙁
    4×4 Dodge Ram
    Dark Angel
    Angel of Death (ref: orgasm called “little death” somewhere)
    Cyclops
    Black Stallion

    Ben & Jerry
    Two Bits
    Huevos
    Cahones/Cajones (never understood this one, in spanish it means drawers)

  17. I always heard it as a Heat Seaking Crotch Rocket developed by the Navy for undercover entry and deployment of semen… 😈

  18. Can’t believe no one’s added this yet: Love pump!

    from the classic movie “This Is Spinal Tap”…

    Interviewer: That’s beautiful. What do you call it?
    Nigel: I call it “Lick My Love Pump”

    😀

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