TOASTER FAIL

TOASTER FAIL

I was all excited to have this multigrain bread till I realized it was 3″ wider than the toaster slots. Epic fail.

25 Replies to “TOASTER FAIL”

  1. Filed under: Sucks To Be You

    You could always go to your local “Freaks Shop Here” department store and get a built sometime after the 70’s toaster for $15-$20. While there, you could also get us some updated freak pics.

    Speaking of which, I was camera-less when I spotted this freak: tall, slim, high-maintenance, she ain’t pretty she just looks that way, dressed-to-the-9s, coiffed, high-heeled, leopard print wearing cougar/wannabe princess climb out of a Cadillac Escalade driven by an embarrassed-to-be-seen-with-you daughter, walking in to a local Zellers store.

    (For those of you unfamiliar with Zellers, it’s kind of like the Canadian equivalent of a KMart)

  2. [quote comment=”628695″]Filed under: Sucks To Be You

    You could always go to your local “Freaks Shop Here” department store and get a built sometime after the 70’s toaster for $15-$20. While there, you could also get us some updated freak pics.

    Speaking of which, I was camera-less when I spotted this freak: tall, slim, high-maintenance, she ain’t pretty she just looks that way, dressed-to-the-9s, coiffed, high-heeled, leopard print wearing cougar/wannabe princess climb out of a Cadillac Escalade driven by an embarrassed-to-be-seen-with-you daughter, walking in to a local Zellers store.

    (For those of you unfamiliar with Zellers, it’s kind of like the Canadian equivalent of a KMart)[/quote]

    Ah, Zellers. Where the people who can’t afford Wal-Mart shop. Yech.

  3. Ya been there done that too.
    Ya could do as I did for I didn’y want to buy a new toaster so I took my trusty knife and cut the bread to fit. even toasted the trimmings, now had 3 slices instead of one.
    There’s always a way

  4. reminds me of mandy’s avatar and how those cheeks just can’t stay in that thong!
    p.s. i know, i know, it’s a dirty mind but that’s all i or any zilla guy think about really. :thong:

  5. that’s it get my mind mixed up between the toaster and mandy…my mind can’t deal with this especially about the small slots.

  6. Please send me your address so I can send you a toaster that was made after The Cosby Show, Friends and Seinfeld ended.

  7. Geez Dave – I agree with saltydog

    Now, let’s get down to why we’re really here…Mandy, thong, small slots :wang: 😉

  8. You mean you didn’t buy that $50.00 multigrain toaster that was on the shelf next to the $4.00 multigrain bread.

  9. I forgot…you can always take it to Panera’s Bread Co. and ask them to toast it for you. I think they owe you big time.

  10. I remember multi grain bread. I remember it fondly… Now that I have Celiac’s, all I have left to me is crappy gluten free bread that falls apart and tastes like poo. (not that I really know what poo tastes like.)

    Sigh……

  11. [quote comment=”628709″]Usually men OVERestimate the size of their toaster…

    :P[/quote]
    And it bears repeating, “It’s a poor workman who blames his tool”
    Or maybe “It’s a poor cook who blames his toaster”?
    Or, “I’ve got your toaster…right HERE!”

    Waitress, two more tequilas over here please…What are you having?

  12. [quote comment=”628700″]reminds me of mandy’s avatar and how those cheeks just can’t stay in that thong!
    p.s. i know, i know, it’s a dirty mind but that’s all i or any zilla guy think about really. :thong:[/quote]
    since when were cheeks supposed to stay in a :thong: ? kinda defeats the purpose, right??? and yes, i and the other zilla girls are well aware that boys think about nice tits and ass all day. i’d rather be sharing than scaring.

  13. [quote comment=”628719″][quote comment=”628700″]reminds me of mandy’s avatar and how those cheeks just can’t stay in that thong!
    p.s. i know, i know, it’s a dirty mind but that’s all i or any zilla guy think about really. :thong:[/quote]
    since when were cheeks supposed to stay in a :thong: ? kinda defeats the purpose, right??? and yes, i and the other zilla girls are well aware that boys think about nice tits and ass all day. i’d rather be sharing than scaring.[/quote]

    Leave out the “nice” and I’ll agree. :boob: :kiss: :wang: :thong:

  14. [quote comment=”628721″][quote comment=”628719″][quote comment=”628700″]reminds me of mandy’s avatar and how those cheeks just can’t stay in that thong!
    p.s. i know, i know, it’s a dirty mind but that’s all i or any zilla guy think about really. :thong:[/quote]
    since when were cheeks supposed to stay in a :thong: ? kinda defeats the purpose, right??? and yes, i and the other zilla girls are well aware that boys think about nice tits and ass all day. i’d rather be sharing than scaring.[/quote]

    Leave out the “nice” and I’ll agree.

    :boob: :kiss: :wang: :thong:[/quote]
    Let’s not forget the long stems leading the way to the Delta – The Alpha and the Omega

  15. cripes am I so embarrassed. My ENTIRE wardrobe is from zellers right now… my Dickie’s shirt, my black pants, my grey underwear, my grey socks, my (plastic) shoes, my belt, my comfy sweater, my winter coat, even my jaunty white hat. The only things I have right now not from Zeller’s is my 10 year old jacket (which had a buffalo sabres ticket stub from 1998 in the pocket) that I bought from ValueVillage last year for 6.50 canadian, and a coupla shirts that were from the Lider supermarket in Valparaiso. Ah, I just found out that Walmart bought Lider in Chile, and so they sold off all the Cuban rum cheap. Oh, and I have a green wool scarf, but it probably came from Towers. What was the question? Oh yeah.

    Dave, you may have heard of this before. It’s called a BREAD KNIFE. You can use it to cut bread. You could even conceivably CUT the bread and then toast it.

    BTW, there’s a ValueVillage across the river from Detroit, take the Ambassador Bridge, go down Ouellette a few blocks and it’s on a side street just after the tracks.

  16. [quote comment=”628730″]BTW, there’s a ValueVillage across the river from Detroit, take the Ambassador Bridge, go down Ouellette a few blocks and it’s on a side street just after the tracks.[/quote]

    For someone who lives in Chile, you sure know a lot about the D! 🙂

  17. [quote comment=”628731″][quote comment=”628730″]BTW, there’s a ValueVillage … just after the tracks.[/quote]

    For someone who lives in Chile, you sure know a lot about the D! :)[/quote]
    There’s this thing they have now, maybe you have it too… it’s called the InterNet. I hear they have it in Royal Oak as well… very handy for being virtually anywhere, including inside that wimpy toaster of yours.

  18. [quote comment=”628732″]There’s this thing they have now, maybe you have it too… it’s called the InterNet. I hear they have it in Royal Oak as well… very handy for being virtually anywhere, including inside that wimpy toaster of yours.[/quote]
    Heard of it. May catch on. I have better things to look up than crappy stores in Windsor. 😛

  19. See what happenes when you try and eat healthy. The universe doesn’t like it therefore stick to wonderbread 🙁

  20. there’s that thing they do during delivery, when the head of the baby is too big to pass through peacefully, Episiotomy! have some toast!

  21. OMG
    ya I was keeping my thoughts of Mandys cheeks oops here I go again. Damn
    ya the good bread wont fit most toasters for sure and as I stated before you can always trim em to fit BUT in Mandys case I wouldn’t trim em at all, leave em as they are . Yikes mmmm mmmm mmmm. Gads here I go again.
    Mandy can I bring the butter?
    Love ya

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