- They never check a vampire for ID
- Likewise, no one asks child vampire why they aren’t in school
- The DMV (Department of Motor Vehicles) never seems to notice that vampires are about 2,000 years too old to drive. Oh wait, they OWN the DMVs.
- Vampires exist by hard and fast rules. Once you turn, that’s it. Unless you’re in love with a good-looking human. Then you can return to the living by being nice.
- Becoming a vampire isn’t like a tattoo where it’s there forever. You can opt out. Just kill the lead vampire, and you can go back to being drab.
- Lead vampires are ancient, unstoppable and European that yearn for the “old ways”. Younger vampires are brash Americans with sophisticated technology.
- Being a vampire is great for your hair. As soon as you bite a victim, it’s coiffed, teased out and even gets some colors and highlights.
- If you’re a male vampire, and you suck a guy’s neck, it’s totally not gay at all. You get to call outs.
- If you’re a female vampire biting a female human however, it’s still lesbian and you’ll both end up naked in bed, cause that shit’s hot
What have you learned about vampires?