The Size of You’re Entire Body

I just received a spam entitled, “Make You’re Penis the Size of You’re Entire Body!!!!!” Ignoring the atrocious punctuation errors, this message is troubling on several levels. First off, I’m six-foot three. Having a penis of equal length could pose some serious tactical issues.
garden hose roller

  1. How would I store it when not in use? I could use one of those garden hose rollers, but that might be impractical at work (or swimming)
  2. Where would it go when wearing normal clothes? Dragging it behind me on the street is out, as is throwing it ’round my neck as a scarf. If my belt loops had enough diameter, it could be quite a conversation starter as a belt
  3. It might be mistaken for an escaped zoo python and attacked by frightened villagers
  4. Natalie is only five foot two. Well, let’s not go there
viagra
free viagra
buy viagra online
generic viagra
how does viagra work
cheap viagra
buy viagra
buy viagra online inurl
viagra 6 free samples
viagra online
viagra for women
viagra side effects
female viagra
natural viagra
online viagra
cheapest viagra prices
herbal viagra
alternative to viagra
buy generic viagra
purchase viagra online
free viagra without prescription
viagra attorneys
free viagra samples before buying
buy generic viagra cheap
viagra uk
generic viagra online
try viagra for free
generic viagra from india
fda approves viagra
free viagra sample
what is better viagra or levitra
discount generic viagra online
viagra cialis levitra
viagra dosage
viagra cheap
viagra on line
best price for viagra
free sample pack of viagra
viagra generic
viagra without prescription
discount viagra
gay viagra
mail order viagra
viagra inurl
generic viagra online paypal
generic viagra overnight
generic viagra online pharmacy
generic viagra uk
buy cheap viagra online uk
suppliers of viagra
how long does viagra last
viagra sex
generic viagra soft tabs
generic viagra 100mg
buy viagra onli
generic viagra online without prescription
viagra energy drink
cheapest uk supplier viagra
viagra cialis
generic viagra safe
viagra professional
viagra sales
viagra free trial pack
viagra lawyers
over the counter viagra
best price for generic viagra
viagra jokes
buying viagra
viagra samples
viagra sample
cialis
generic cialis
cheapest cialis
buy cialis online
buying generic cialis
cialis for order
what are the side effects of cialis
buy generic cialis
what is the generic name for cialis
cheap cialis
cialis online
buy cialis
cialis side effects
how long does cialis last
cialis forum
cialis lawyer ohio
cialis attorneys
cialis attorney columbus
cialis injury lawyer ohio
cialis injury attorney ohio
cialis injury lawyer columbus
prices cialis
cialis lawyers
viagra cialis levitra
cialis lawyer columbus
online generic cialis
daily cialis
cialis injury attorney columbus
cialis attorney ohio
cialis cost
cialis professional
cialis super active
how does cialis work
what does cialis look like
cialis drug
viagra cialis
cialis to buy new zealand
cialis without prescription
free cialis
cialis soft tabs
discount cialis
cialis generic
generic cialis from india
cheap cialis sale online
cialis daily
cialis reviews
cialis generico
how can i take cialis
cheap cialis si
cialis vs viagra
levitra
generic levitra
levitra attorneys
what is better viagra or levitra
viagra cialis levitra
levitra side effects
buy levitra
levitra online
levitra dangers
how does levitra work
levitra lawyers
what is the difference between levitra and viagra
levitra versus viagra
which works better viagra or levitra
buy levitra and overnight shipping
levitra vs viagra
canidan pharmacies levitra
how long does levitra last
viagra cialis levitra
levitra acheter
comprare levitra
levitra ohne rezept
levitra 20mg
levitra senza ricetta
cheapest generic levitra
levitra compra
cheap levitra
levitra overnight
levitra generika
levitra kaufen

26 Replies to “The Size of You’re Entire Body”

  1. What a great visual! I’ll try to think of something to say as soon as I can stop laughing.

    This is why we love you! :wang:

  2. You’re missing the whole point. I’m only 5′ 9″ and if I had a dick that big, I would NEVER store it nor would I EVER wear normal clothes. I would throw it over my shoulder and go wherever the fuck I wanted. Women gonna wanna buy me drinks, meals, clothes, jewelry, cars, whatever.

  3. Detriments:
    1. This would make traveling by plane a bit expensive, as I would assume you would have to buy 2 seats to accomodate it..I suppose you could run it under the seats in front of you, ala “Snakes on a Plane”
    2. Would make bicycle riding nearly impossible- one rogue pothole may cause your “scarf” to fall from your shoulders resulting in a possible head wound and jaws of life to remove it from your tire spokes after you regained consciousness
    Possible benefits:
    1. May be helpful as a floatation device.
    2. Propping it up in the passenger seat and placing a hat on the head, would mean you could always use the carpool lane.
    2.

  4. Ferd Brfl and Ginny were aghast. The message said, ‘penis the size of whole body!’ or something. Well, the pills arrived, and Ferd was nauseated shortly after taking the recommended 4 capsules at 10 minutes, 15 minutes, 32 minutes, and 98 minutes after beginning a head stand. The recommended head stand was to complete at 120 minutes, give or take about 1 minute and 12 seconds, no more, no less. And no bubble bath for the strained arm and back muscles, either .. Even Ginny was stressing by the end of the ‘uptake’ phase. Although Ferd wondered why Ginny doing a head stand had anything to do with him taking pills. Although, if she were to try again without clothes .. No, the instructions were clear, that the head stand had to last two hours, and be ‘unsupported’. Ferd couldn’t imagine trying to do a headstand himself, while taking those pills on schedule. Besides. Everyone knows that drinking water upside down stops hiccoughs, not arouse a massive boner, no matter what pills you take.

    And the damn pills taste like rat turns must taste like. Looked like them, too. Eww.

  5. wrapped around your neck or waist? What happens when you get an erection do you strangle yourself?

  6. Ha Ha Ha Ha!!!!!
    My plan for world domination is going well. These stupid men do not realize that I have only promised to make their penis the size of their body. With my mighty shrink ray I will be King! With all of the men averaging only 7 inches in height there is nothing they can do to stop me!
    Ha Ha Ha Ha!!!!!

  7. If you did have a crank the size of your body, you may not get laid as much, but you could for halloween, throw it over your shoulder and go as a Gas Pump!!!! 😳

  8. I guess you would be fucking and getting a blow job at the same time??? That would be a good thing. 😛

  9. [Comment ID #197875 will be quoted here]

    Yeah does it have an anaconda/constrictor effect? :wtf:
    Doesn’t it hurt you guys for it to be bent in awkward angles when erect?
    …I just had a visual of what would happen as someone got aroused…you can see it moving slightly at first, somewhat thickening and hardening and hardening as one may say, like when your air up a crumpled up bycicle tire tube or swimming pool floatie thingie. Then all of a sudden *swack* full on erection six feet three inches of stiff schlong inevitably knocking unconscious anyone that may have been in its path. :wtf:

  10. I dont’know if I’m ready to give that company my Visa number just yet…Back in ,,The Big One,, ,I was station’ed at Fort Dickensider on Euren Island in the Pacific. At night we’were kept awake all night by the most gawdawful scream’ing from the rocky beach a’bout 5’ive hundred feet away (it was right by the ocean, as I re’call.) It sound’ed like demons screaming OOOOWWWWWW – OOOOOOWWWWWWW threw’out the night!!!!! I soon learn’ed from my command’ing officer, Cap’t Lew Tennant, that the sound was made by the Southern Red-Tipp’ed OwwOww Bird. It was a’bout the size of a normal sea’gull, but had a ,,personal male member,, that was over 20 inch’s long, and when’ever it came in for a land’ing on that stoney, rocky beach, it would screach tat cry…OOOOWWWWWW – OOOOOOWWWWWWW.

    Its now ex’stinked.
    [Re’production was an issue]

  11. Y’know, the first thing I thought of was “size of” not just “length of”. Who among us, in our advancing years, would be able to heft our own weight?

    Nope, it’d be like dragging a conjoined twin around all day. Just the carpet burn from dragging it through the house would be enough to put you off.

  12. I see 13 said it first but maybe 13 doesn’t know (?) that there is a famous joke about a guy who complains about his enormous penis and the punch line is “Wait for Halloween. You can throw it over your shoulder and go as a gas pump.”

    (I’m a stand-up comic so I always love it when people use punchlines as if it’s their own invention!)

  13. Would there be an issue with your personal size and the size of your :wang: and growth ratio. :wtf:
    If you have an itty bitty winky and you’re 6 foot tall and if you’re 5 foot 3 and you already have a 5 in’er, growth ratio is very different, is “size of YOUR entire body” guaranteed or are they using a default body ❓ ? (5in, the average? 🙄 yeah right!)

  14. [Comment ID #197882 will be quoted here]

    That just gave me the vision of watching one of those life rafts inflating from the size of a book to the size of a bookcase. I’m impressed, yet also afraid. :wtf:

  15. from TastyT:
    I have to say . ok That was 2 things to say.
    :wtf: 😆
    …so I see both heads, but where’re the balls?

Comments are closed.