Guide to Artists’ Models No. 2: The Nudist
Second only in popularity to The Earth Mother, The Nudist is usually an elderly gentleman, with a silver ponytail collected from his few remaining strands of hair. His buttocks are withered as raisins and his hairy stomach hangs from him like a weaverbird nest.
The Nudist loves the outdoors and finds no greater pleasure than sunbathing on the front lawn, while waving casually to his astonished neighbors. He’s retired from his corporate job and now spends his days making wine in his basement in the nude, reading “Naturist” magazines while nude, and riding his Harley, in the nude.
- “Pretty young thing like you confined in all that clothing. It ain’t natural.”
- “Course, me and my ladyfriend still have sex from time to time. We did it last night on the bench you’re sitting on.”
- “How’s the Cabernet? You know I was nude when I made that.”
- “I’m just trying to get back to Eden. Fruits, nuts and nude folk. How God intended it.”
- “I know your aunt! We shared a hot tub up north. Nude.”