Thank you, Captain Obvious

Thank you, Captain Obvious

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43 Replies to “Thank you, Captain Obvious”

  1. This doesn’t surprise me a bit….especially when McDonald’s has to put a disclaimer/warning on their coffee cups warning that the liquid inside is hot and could cause burns….DUH!!!! Or that people should not use their blowdriers while bathing? Who does this?!!!!! This world tends to cater to the lowest common denominator when it comes to intelligence levels while insulting people who actually have the sense to instinctively know these things! Okay, rant over…. 👿

  2. up, down, what does it matter, as long as nobody gets sued it’s all good.

    What do you call 50 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

    A good start.

  3. Probably necessary to avoid some law suit for ruining a pair of Levis.

    As a response to mandated gov’t warnings on wine labels, Frog’s Leap Winery puts a note on the back label, at the bottom “Caution, Open Other End”

  4. First of all it’s sad when we have to cater to the stupidity some people have,and apparantly it’s spreading,because it seems like every product that comes out has a warning lable that makes most people roll their eyes and say “well no shit!!!”.I think they should just start putting lables on them that say “Do not use if you are stupid”.That should prevent alot of lawsuits. 🙄

  5. [Comment ID #195910 will be quoted here]

    All a company has to do is place the following disclaimer on anything they sell or any advertisement for their product:

    WARNING: This product is not intended for use by stupid people.

    Anyone that sued them would have to prove that they weren’t stupid and that would eliminate 99.99% of the lauwsuits right off the bat.

  6. Mandy,

    I believe the intent is to keep the cups upside down until you use them. That way the flies crapping on everything and the roaches don’t get to the inner, food-contact surface. The assumption is that the cup is ‘clean’ during manufacture and distribution.

    And don’t forget those lighted signs. Any time you see a lighted sign over a counter, look closely. There will be a pile of dead fruit flies and similar really small flying insects lying underneath. My favorite Chinese restaurant has a steam table with open pans of rice and noodles under their lighted menu board…

    This particular label seems particularly focused on store employees. One ponders the series of accidents and problems that prompted including the warning on the cup artwork.

    Jerry faced off against the new kid. Janet was supposed to be fairly bright, but .. This was the third time this week that she had tossed a large lemonade to Sean at the drive up window. The third time the lemonade spilled all over the register and cash drawer. How many times she got away with it .. now there was a scary thought. And, Jerry knew, this wasn’t the only problem. He had reported to Corporate the problem with the slanted counter that was supposed to gather wrapped items in a handy queue for the bagger. Only the drinks didn’t slide that well, and tended to tip over. Requests to change the counter, or the procedure, had boomeranged — instead of a fix, Corporate sent auditors. Now, in addition to serving his customers, his crew had 4 auditors peering over shoulder, correcting ‘non approved’ motions, and quizzing on company history and sexual harassment policies. Jerry still winced over Don’s “I’m sorry, I didn’t know I was supposed to go to a class for sexual harassment. I have just been ad libbing!” The auditors did bring one attempt at solution, though. It was embarrassing. Rather than let him correct that sloped counter, Corporate labeled the cups ‘keep upright’. Like the problem was his employees, and not their slanted counter. Well, there was Janet and her “Catch!” moments. Damn that softball coach that brought her in her.

  7. [Comment ID #195912 will be quoted here] i think lung hit it here. it would be funny if this held true for humans after sex. walking on the hands to the bathroom would be an interesting finale.

  8. I have had to walk on my hands to the bathroom after sex :wang: – it was no laughing matter either let me tell you, tee hee hee

    Whereas, i agree with the majority of the comments y’all are forgetting one very important aspect of things – COMMON SENSE IS NOT COMMON

  9. Precaución: ¡Este extremo para arriba, asno mudo! (cuando la taza contiene el líquido)

  10. is that what I’ve been doing wrong all these years? damn! now, if only they could tell me what’s wrong with running and bumping into stuff with a knife in my hands…DHUUUUHHH!!!

  11. OK I’ll say it WARNING; Living is hazardous to your Health!!
    not with out saying, anyone runs the risk of having no sense or being forever Stupid!!

  12. During my career as a professional trampoline performer, I was always quite amused by this warning label on the Nissen trampoline-bed:

    “Crippling injuries may occur during somersaults.”

    Leaving aside for the moment that crippling injuries occur at the END of FAILED somersaults(!), for some reason, my mind always mistranslated it as:

    “Crippling somersaults may occur during injuries.”

  13. I imagine the company that printed the cups is also responsible for the “STOP” signs on the top rung of ladders.

  14. Warning: Upon reading this warning, we the company are no longer liable for any injuries you may sustain upon using this product.

    Well, dang! Now who am I gonna complain to about my wet pants? 😛

  15. People won’t wake up until they make guys wear a label on their dicks: “Suck this end first” :wang:

    sorry to all the ladies, but …

    Label on the labia: “CAUTION: smell may cause nausea”
    👿

  16. [Comment ID #195950 will be quoted here]
    Take them off! :undies: 😈 😛

    [Comment ID #195955 will be quoted here]
    Ha! Funny!
    :wang: CAUTION: Choking Hazard

  17. What happens if you can,t read? Where,s the pictures? What if I was blind? Does it come in Braille? I,d hate to have wet pants like Meagan. 😈 :undies: 😈 🙄

  18. [Comment ID #195943 will be quoted here]
    Or the sign 500 yds on the ramp leading to the Freeway that says “Wrong Way – Go Back”

    D’Oh!

  19. Is there any warning about the nitrate and sodium content in the food? They should worry unhealthy folks suing them for their med. bills’ “Waaa.. this restaurant made me fat and sick. It is not my fault that that i ate there eight times a day.”

  20. [Comment ID #195964 will be quoted here]
    What? If you were blind, would Meagan in wet pants come in braille? Wow!

    Almost as good as a ZillaGirlz poster in braille!
    :wang:
    [Comment ID #195956 will be quoted here]
    Well, maybe at first… 😛

  21. If someone is two stoopid to know which end of the cup should point up with liquid in it, how are they able to order it in the first place? Do they know what’s in the cup? Do the know to consume said beverage through the mouth? If they hold the cup in the incorrect position, do they know where the liquid went? How did they find the restaurant? How did they know they were thirsty?

  22. Dear Assembly;

    As a former member of the Tim Horton’s Army I, for one, am nostalgic. While this may appear to be an ordinary, albeit disgraceful, specimen of a soda funnel from one of our finest rapid cuisine establishments to me it symbolizes the 3-step ladder that got me to where I am today. Absolutely nowhere. It really only serves to remind me that the prevalence of brain cells in any person should never be overestimated. That and I miss the dough nuts.

    Yours truly,
    -TimHo’s Only First Shift Super Soldier.

  23. Just another sign that humanity is not as great as it thinks it is. There hardly seems to be a person alive that takes responsibility for their own actions anymore. Spill coffee on myself and I think … BOY that was clumsy, I should be more careful. Not… SUE THOSE BASTARDS for making coffee hot! Its just sad when you have to see directions on a bag of peanuts and things like that.
    I suppose with the cups it IS also a way to notify the workers to keep them upside down until needed, but the phrasing of the notice seems directed toward the customer.
    I once bought a bottle of Dr. Pepper at a gas station and proceed driving home. I then opened the bottle which fizzed all over my khakis. Well a dark brown liquid spilled all over a brand new pair of light colored khakis pretty much ruined them, especially when I had to drive another hour to my destination. Did I sue Dr. Pepper? No. Maybe I should have and gotten 18 million for my pain and suffering and a new pair of khakis. But then we would all have to drink flat Dr. Pepper nowadays. I guess you are all lucky I didn’t sue so you can enjoy your nice and fizzy Dr. P’s…. you’re welcome.

    Oh yeah… people are stupid. In the past 10 years or so with all the advances in technology I have only seen a decline in shown intelligence. I guess trying to learn to use all these high tech gadgets takes away people’s abilities in other areas, such as drinking a cup of soda or coffee.

  24. The only thing that made me feel better when I saw this was the fact that I didn’t think it was truly meant for me. After looking at the counter help, I was pretty sure it was mostly because I don’t think they knew what end of the mop to use when someone did spill.

  25. [Comment ID #195981 will be quoted here]

    or stick this end in drink first then suck other end as gently or as thirst requires!

    I think I’m going to get a headache!

  26. [Comment ID #195981 will be quoted here]

    or stick this end in drink first then suck other end gently or as thirst requires!

    I think I’m going to get a headache!

  27. [Comment ID #195977 will be quoted here]

    In the Navy they reminded us that ‘Safety regulations are written in blood.’ They didn’t require the procedure for drilling through a wall to include checking for electrical wiring on the other side, until a couple sailors had fried.

    For a chain to write something like that on the cups, they have to be addressing some existing, expensive problem. Like, maybe the cup lid maker started turning out lids that didn’t hold worth squat.

    Really, look around. You won’t see many warning signs unless one or more lawyers has made a killing. Well, maybe not ‘Don’t park here or else’ signs.

  28. [Comment ID #195956 will be quoted here]

    Actually, I’ve been pantless since yesterday. Where do you think I was all this time?

    [Comment ID #195964 will be quoted here]

    Then take yours off and join me! 😈

    [Comment ID #195980 will be quoted here]

    My whole body is braille. Want to read it?

  29. [Comment ID #196151 will be quoted here]
    A story I couldn’t put down until the last page and then re-read it over and over… 😛

    or would that be a ‘pop-up book’? 😈

  30. If it was actually meant for the employees, to store the cups upside down, shouldn’t it be printed on the bottom, upside down, and read “This side down when empty”?

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