Ten things to do at a New Year’s Eve party

  1. Wake up writing someone else’s blog
  2. Declare war on Iraq! Oh wait, never mind…
  3. Plaster the streets with incriminating photos involving your pet and a root vegetable
  4. Tattoo Bible verses all over your body and then do a strip tease for your friends
  5. Should anyone spill a drink on you, scream, “It burns, it burns!” in a possessed Linda Blair voice.
  6. Declare sock garters to be back in fashion and wear a pair. Nothing else.
  7. Put everyone’s keys in the toilet to prevent drunk driving
  8. Arrive late, drunk and loudly announce, “Well, it looks like I’ve slept with everyone at this party already.”
  9. “Hey yer Mom looks familiar. Whoa. Too familiar.”
  10. And your suggestion is…?
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29 Replies to “Ten things to do at a New Year’s Eve party”

  1. 1. Overdose on prune juice and vodka.
    2. Exclaim “Brilliant!” over and over as you swill Guinness…
    3. Do a nifty tango with the host’s Christmas tree.
    4. Slather yourself with leftover tapioca pudding.
    5. Wear your moosepants backwards.
    6. Wear bananas on your head and wear a red sweatshirt (no, wait…)
    7. Recite all the catchy phrases from Star Trek episodes (He’s dead Jim!)
    8. Gently fondle all the females while asking “are these real?”
    9. Ride a Big Wheel up and down the hall screaming “Redrum!”
    10. Respond to every comment with “Is that your final answer?”

  2. I like this one …

    Exclaim “Brilliant!” over and over as you swill Guinness…

    also…

    Respond to every comment with “Is that your final answer?”

    followed by…

    and then?

    and of course this…

    Should anyone spill a drink on you, scream, “It burns us, it burns us!” in a Gollum voice

    as for an original idea, I had one once … I think.

    :boobs:

  3. 1. Discretely lick all the hor dourves
    2. Order a dozen pizzas to the house across the street
    3. Play “Naked Twister” (and you thought I forgot…lol)
    4. Throw a ham at your neighbors, like Ozzie did
    5. Talk with a Scottish accent all evening
    6. Play “Ding-Dong-Ditch” at Dave’s place
    7. Go cow-tipping
    8. Sing “Auld KD-Lang Syne”
    9. Repeatedly call the cops on your neighbors
    10.Drink until you’re Irish

  4. 1. Ignore that nasty restraining order and visit your ex one more time.
    2. Open a can of “Whoop-Ass” (half the calories, all of the taste) on the first person to tell you “Happy New Year”.
    3. Find a Red-Stater, get him real drunk on Lite beer and then beat him to death with a Bible.
    4. Find out if the saying, “Once you go Black, you never go back” is really true.
    5. Get really drunk and sing the entire Debbie Gibson greatest hits, then die.
    6. Ask several people if they want to see your Mapplethorpe impression.
    7. Two words: Vomit Candy
    8. Find a willing, wasted woman, have meaningless sex with her and then act like you don’t remember her the next morning. That is so cool.
    9. Two more words: Anal Toast
    10. Welcome in the New Year with nothing but one bright red sneaker on. It’s done in Bangkok all the time.

  5. 1. Play Lord of The Rings in the background, all three films. Make everyone come as their favorite hobbit or orc. Use D&D dice as drinking charms. Anyone that quotes, “My precious” has to strip. :thong:

    2. Have a poetry reading. Invite geeky but sexy girls that wear glasses, capable of revising your limp verbs. Invite male poets too but only those that don’t visit poetry slams or confuse rap lyrics as literature. :geek:

    3. When folks show up at your house, surprise them by taking them on a rented school bus. Shout in the middle of the drive, “HEY we’re going camping!” Take them in the dead of night to a national forest, heavy drinking around the bonfire, see who gets lost in the woods during a game of hide and seek. Make certain the bus driver gets up early and departs with only you on it. 😈

    4. Watch a Star Trek Marathon all alone, with a bag of chips and Guinness. Between commercials, recall a lovelier time….Go to bed fat. 😕

  6. 1. Show everyone how talented you are by playing the full version of “In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida” on a kazoo

    2. Speak only in Klingon

    3. Count down every second starting at 11:32 pm

    4. Purposly forget the punchline to every joke you tell

    5. Argue with yourself in a mirror why Picard is better than Kirk

    6. Dance when there is no music

    7. Try on the Host’s clothes (funnier if you are the opposite gender)

    8. Sell moosepants to everyone

    9. Stumble in late and drunk, exclaim “this ain’t my house”, urinate on the rug and leave.

    10. When at someone else’s party, act like you are the host. Offer everyone drinks and tell them they can stay as long as they want.

  7. Gather the children around, give them each one line to recite all night and see how long it takes the drunks to realize what’s going on. Suggestions include, but are not limited to:

    where is the fire extinguisher?

    do we have any gogurt?

    I can’t find the cat!

    Are you finished with that?

    I think I heard something in the attic.

    What’s that smell?

    etc. Trust me, it’s a hoot!

  8. :limp::limp::limp::kiss::wang::wang::wang::oops::wang::wang::wang::hurl::limp::limp::limp::!:ahhhhhhhh

    zzzzzzzzzzzzzz

  9. Show up in a loud pickup truck, wearing a mullet with a bud light in hand and loudly proclaim in your best Arkansas, “Hey man, let’s party like it’s 1999!”

  10. mark out some of your teeth with black, put on overalls (no shirt), mess your hair, wear only one boot and walk into the party drunk and speaking with a strong southern accent. Ask everyone if they’ve seen deliverance.

  11. 1. Drink enough Mad Dog 20/20 to make you piss on yourself(New Years Eve 1987) 2. Drink enough tequila to step in a mud hole 2 feet deep and almost break your leg(New Years Eve 1991) 3. Actually spend a New Years sober(New Years Eve 2006)!!!!!!!!!!Have a Happy and safe New years everyone!!!!!!!:boobs:

  12. 1. Be the first to get drunk, throw up on the living room floor, curse at everybody, take over the music selection, and start a fight with everbody.
    2 – 10. Look for new friends in 2006.

  13. Tie a hiking boot to the dick of the first guy who passes out & invite everyone to kick the boot when they walk by! A real party favorite! Fun for the whole family!! HAPPY NEW YEAR ALL!!
    :dead::wtf::sad:

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