Tell me what he’s looking for

What is he looking for?

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44 Replies to “Tell me what he’s looking for”

  1. 1) His girlfriends underwear before his wife gets home.
    2) Where the pee smell is coming from.
    3) The winning lotto ticket from last week.
    4) Change for a cheap pack of smokes…..to calm down…… :wtf:
    5) Waldo

  2. Robert searched his soul, looking for a bit of self-esteem. Sure, he knew painting his garbage cans safety-plum purple would irritate neighbor Sam. Who knew Sam would turn him in for ‘off color garbage.’ That the local paper would carry the story, making up salacious comments. That the FBI would receive numerous complaints from readers of the local paper about ‘inappropriate pornography on his computer’, based on the story. Robert would have said the FBI didn’t have a sense of humor, but perhaps … When the agents failed to find any pornography they boxed the computer, books, magazines, and curtains for further ‘study’. Along with the infamous safety-plum garbage cans.

  3. After months of his girlfriend saying “I want to wait for the right time, that romantic moment when it will mean more than just sex” that moment arrived when he was least expecting it, damn where did I put that Condom?

    :wang:

  4. Please Lord let my blow-up doll with the working mouth still be here…. Screw the dvd player and my dvd’s. Where’s my blow-up doll!?!?!?!?!

  5. or, he is not looking for anything. He is doing yoga to find “inner peace” before the walls come down. 😆

  6. UUUMMM THE REMOTE!!!!! I could swear that is my husband ha ha ha . Hey take 2 steps and change the channel with ooohhh damn your hands.
    The question should be WHOS CLEANING THIS????? 🙄

  7. He is searching for that unfinished cup of strawberry yogurt garnished with sweet pickle relish, started two days ago.

  8. 1)He’s looking for Waldo.
    2)He’s looking for hand lotion. B/C we all know that softer hands won’t chafe the :wang:.
    3)His Dominatrix left him like that and then robbed him.
    4)He’s looking for his nicotine patch.

  9. i don’t know what he’s looking for but i would be concerned about that poster that flew out his ass.

    john turturro really cracked me up in the jesus game.

  10. He’s not looking for anything. He’s awakening to the realization that sometime after he accepted that mixed drink with the ‘funny whang’ to it, he passed out and took it up the ass for what he hopes is the only time in his life! :wtf:

  11. The cockroach that fell out of his fast food breakfast sandwich. Guess he doesn’t realize it’s running away in the left corner. :puke: :puke:

    Or he just needs to find some “ABC” gum so he can fix those book shelves!

    P.S. That rainbow motivational poster isn’t doing this man a lick of good. 😛

  12. He’s lookin’ for that strap-on that went missing after a night of hot sex, before his wife does. Little does he know that he will find it, in the end.

    :wang:

  13. I spy a blue crack pipe, some blow, a doob and some food that’s ripe, a porno tape that’s been abused and a ribbed condom that’s been re-used….

  14. It’s sooo obviously the tv remote!! thats usually what my living room looks like after trying to find it … oh wait it looks like that anyway … does anyone know where the remote for my stereo is, i never even noticed it was lost till a few months ago and if my dad finds out he’ll kill me 🙁

  15. That greased pig he’s been chasing all night…they’re hard to catch, but when you get them, the lovin’s so good!! 😈

  16. he’s not looking for anything, thats how his date left him last night and he hasn’t been able to move since. :wang: :limp:

  17. :undies: :undies: :undies: :undies: :undies: :undies: :undies: :wang: :wang: :thong: :thong: :thong: :thong: :thong: :thong: 😀 😀 😀 :boob: :boob: :boob: 💡 💡 💡 :wang: :wang: :wang: :puke: :puke: :puke:

  18. He’d looking for spare change to give to homeless people who look like Jesus 😈

  19. K-Y jelly
    girl friends dog :wtf:
    wallet
    underware
    wedding ring
    black book
    his baby
    car keys
    or maybe hes lookin for the midget he cought stickin it to his wife. 🙄

  20. His ass because he is using both hands
    His roommates who some how managed to epoxy him to the Ottoman last night after the party

  21. Looks like your average college dorm room Monday A.M.
    or…
    He’s looking for the phone to call his parents and tell them not to hurry home… 😆

  22. The Gerbil that escaped from the cage to the left . Or Tylenol because he already knows where the Gerbil is :limp:

  23. Actually, I believe that is the world’s most inept burglar. He obviously fell asleep on the ottoman after many hours of rigorous searching for valuable items to sell so he can get some money to buy some crack.

  24. just one more nickel. he’s the guy that dropped $2.94 on my counter last night for his pack of Marlboro Lights that he so desperately needed. :dead:

  25. wow u got geeeeeeeeeekkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk didnt ya! and y wasnt i there i could have helped u find the other crumb.just jokeing we took a pole of 100 people n the hood and they all said the same thing. when you smoke at least dont do so much cause when u finally wake up ur goona be like what n the hell happened to my living room? 😳 😳 😳 😳 😳 😳 😳 😳 😳 😳 😳 😳 😛 😛 😛 😛 😛 😈 😈 😈 😈 👿 :evil:be careful and remember crack kills. :boob:

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