On Golden Shower Pond

I recently had my full physical examination from the doctor. All is well, although one comment from the nurse threw me a little. “We need a urine sample. Take this cup to the bathroom and hold it under the urine stream.” Had she used ‘your’ in place of ‘the’, I might not had noticed.

As a result, while I peed, I imagined being under the urine stream as a happy place, a fairytale land with dew-lit butterflies and gamboling elves. Perhaps even a poem. Under the Urine Stream, by Walt Whitman. Rime of the Ancient Uriner, by Coleridge.

And why must it be a stream? What if you had a raging urine river? Here’s some other titles I thought up as I held my cup under the urine stream.

  1. The Babbling Urine Brook
  2. Noah’s Ark and the Urine Flood
  3. A Tribute to the Urine Tributary
  4. The Quiet Urine Creek
  5. The Urine Well
  6. Sailing the Urine Seas
  7. The Fountain of Urine
  8. Ten Days Alone: Yellow-Water Rafting in Colorado
  9. And I cannot resist, On Golden Pond
  10. What titles can you come up with?