We can do all thongs through Christ

Longtime reader Bobby Peru, (and by longtime, I mean 14 years) pointed me to a fun tool for searching Facebook status messages, called OpenBook. While this is amusing enough, Peru went one further. He said that lots of folks make typos in their statuses (we’ve noticed!) and that by searching for the wrong word on OpenBook, you’ll get some hilarious results.

Below are the search results for people who meant to type “things” and instead typed “thongs”. (For my Aussie readers, thongs should be taken to mean g-strings or tangas, but not sandals). Hilarity ensues. Click each icon for the full image.

CD Cover Generator

Dig it.

Puzzle it out

  1. Go to Wikipedia. Hit Random. The first random Wikipedia article you get is the name of your band.
  2. Go to Random Quotations. The last four or five words of the very last quote of the page is the title of your first album.
  3. Go to Flickr and click on Explore the last seven days. Third picture, no matter what it is, will be your album cover.
  4. Use Photoshop or similar to put it all together or use Picnik.com.
  5. Facebook users: Post it with this text in the caption and tag the friends you want to participate

Email your good ones to me and we’ll have a gallery page of them next week.

An Open Letter to All Friend Requests on Facebook

Thank you for trying to add me as a friend because you:

  • read my blog
  • saw me speak at your conference
  • want me to fix your computer
  • want me to link to your blog so you’ll be “popular, real fast”
  • are stalking my girlfriend

I’d love to reciprocate, however I have a few prerequisites, so bear with me.Yeti
I will probably NOT add you if…

  • …your profile photo is a shitty pencil drawing of yourself that you did one weekend on the beach when you were drunk and “artistically inspired” but actually looks like you are an epileptic Yeti with no feet
  • …you only have one friend and it’s Ann Coulter
  • …you’ve slept with Ann Coulter
  • …you’ve sold your soul to Ann Coulter
  • …you are Ann Coulter
  • …I see an ad for you, saying you are a fan of yourself
  • …you are a 93rd Level Cleric-Elf-Mage
  • …you are a thinly-disguised product pretending to be a hot, college girl
  • …your GPA has the same score as your blood-alcohol level: 1.9
  • …you list monster truck pulls and hog-calling as interests
  • …you’re my evil twin
  • …this is your dog’s Facebook page. Srsly?
  • …you’re being ironic by having a Facebook profile. Well aren’t you fucking clever?