No drunk texting, please

Everyone has that drunk friend. You know the one. Great person until alcohol has been imbibed. And everyone has a different reaction to alcohol. I’m Irish. I hate to stereotype my ancestors, but goddamn can we put it away! I never believed I could drink a lot until I started noticing that all my friends would hit the floor when I was just feeling a mild buzz.

I don’t slur when I’m drunk. I don’t stagger, nor do I drunk dial, drunk text or make statements I need to apologize for the next day. But there’s one thing that happens to me that gives my friends no end of amusement. I lose all sense of direction. Jesus could point me directly to the stairway to heaven and I’d end up in Satan’s executive washroom. It’s that bad.

So how about you? What do you do when heavily intoxicated?