I just had a “Snap Meal” from Imperfect Foods. Prior to this “meal” I assumed that chickens were avian, organic lifeforms, descended from dinosaurs. I know better now. They are,…
People who refuse to include punctuation in email or texts. The guy (it's always a guy) who passes you on the road and then promptly slows down. That lady who…
Jodi Arias supporters Twilight fans. Fuck all of you. Vampires don't sparkle. People who change their profile photo to reflect the latest meme, social cause or trend with no clue…
Brake tappers. Coffee drinkers who put perform an ongoing series of sugar modifications to their drinks, as if testing them for glucose tolerance. Couples in matching sweaters. Joggers who actually…
Oh my readers, I have not abandoned you. I am working myself to death slowly. I've been in 5 states in four days. Anyway, all this travel got me hating…
Oh man. I have been subjected to appalling grammar this week. I want to put these folks under citizens arrest … for the murder of the English language! People who…
The person(s) responsible for the musical selections playing ambiently in malls Indecisive lane-riders People who buy 398 items, freak out at the total, then force the cashier to remove each…
Kids that dropped out of school because, "My teachah's ignernt." Clowns. Always clowns. Douchebags that tell their girlfriends they can't hang out with their guy friends, but they of course…
The coworker reads aloud every memo, email, etc. to themselves and has to tell me, "Oh, I'm not talking to you. I'm just thinking aloud." I didn't ask, OK?. People…
Comcast Tech Support, for having service interruptions all fucking week Lane drifters, Sunday or not Guys who change their clothes at Armani Exchange outside the dressing room Anyone who greets…
The Brotherhood of Bikers: In my town, there is a rather extensive gang of "Christian Bikers" known collectively as Riders for the Son. Perhaps I didn't pay enough attention in…
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