Random Effluvia

Random Effluvia

Cats in tights, are you kidding me? [GALLERY LINK]

Love the theremin? Of course you do. Who doesn’t? There’s an online theremin! [PLAY IT NOW]

Slittens. Cause the world needed a Tumblr blog devoted to kittens with sloth faces. [OMG YES]

Poor Kelly. She ordered a fur wolf tail for Halloween and got, well, not what she expected. It sure is furry. [VIEW PIC]

The most disgusting recipes on Pinterest [GALLERY LINK]

My Asshole Cats

My Asshole Cats

  1. …Refuse to chase their toys until I’m in 4th stage REM sleep.
  2. …Only get nauseous when the floor is clean. And only on the hardwood.
  3. …Are responsible for 99% of all poltergeist activity in the lower 48 states.
  4. …Inform me their claws need trimming when they are sitting on my crotch.
  5. …Allow my baby to pull their hair, slap them and bite their heads. If I so much as pet them too close to their tails, I lose a vital organ.
  6. …Love our cranky old Pug, but are plotting the slow, painful death of our gentle Italian Greyhound.
  7. …Want to decimate every wild bird outside, but have no interest killing indoor spiders.
  8. …Can pick locks with the skill of a hardened ex-con.
  9. …Shit next to their litter box.

Sleep deprivation

LIZZ: “That’s it, honey.” [SITTING UP, ROCKING IN BED]
ME: “What are you doing?”
LIZZ: “I just… I have to stay awake and…to make sure the baby doesn’t fall asleep on me.”
ME: “What? I didn’t even hear you get out of bed.”
LIZZ “Oh. My. God. I am losing my mind.”
ME: “What?!?”
LIZZ: “This isn’t even the baby. I’ve been rocking the cat.”