Stores that never made it, Part II

Sunday, we laughed at examined store names that might be construed as really damn stupid less than optimal. Today, we examine stores that combine unrelated industries under the same umbrella, like those gas stations that make donuts. Blecch.

For example, years ago, I went to San Francisco with my then-wife. She had forgotten her ID. Since she was only 24, she didn’t want to be carded. We solved it by stopping at a shop in Chinatown that specialized in hand-scooped ice cream… and photo ID.

  1. Benny’s Noodles -N- Bait
  2. Mike’s Dental Supplies and Jackhammers Plus!
  3. Tire Rotation, Donuts & More
  4. Tampons, Pads and Anchors, by Millie
  5. Frank’s Microbrewery & Daycare Center
  6. Faith Ministries and Hemp Outreach Programs
  7. Bottled Water and Wastre Removal Plus
  8. KinderCare and Burn Treatment Center
  9. Books On Tape and Institute for the Deaf
  10. What stores would you be afraid to see?
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33 Replies to “Stores that never made it, Part II”

  1. The POC (Pedofile Outreach Centre) and “Read them again and again and again” 2e hand books for children.

    “Have a pedicure with your sandwich” diner.

    “Loob- and boobjob while you wait”.

  2. there is an actual store called beauty and bait in lewes de. git yer hair dun and pick me up sum sqid womun!

  3. Buster’s Bait, Tackle, Taxidermy, All Night Adult Video Rental, Bridal Boutique and Sushi bar…
    PLEASE specify whether you are fishing or dining when ordering cut fish so we know which box to put it in!!

  4. We had the old “Oil Change and Fried Chicken” place here for a while. Lovely, never tried the chicken.

    Personally I’d like to see a gunshop and post office depot.

  5. I live in Columbus, Oh many years ago and there was a store called “Waterbeds n Stuff” … they sold waterbeds… and dildos.

  6. Couple of real ones, which (to me) are creepy as hell.
    1) Cracker Barrel. Substandard, Uniformly cream colored food along with Substandard, Uniformly Cream colored Merchandise. They are also in the Denny’s club for trying to keep their customers “Uniformly Cream Colored”.
    2) For any PA people out there….
    Quaker Steak and Lube. I don’t think they do actual lube jobs (Unless you count the Beer for Human-Lube) but the name still gives me the willies. Do they deep fry in 30 weight?
    http://www.lubewings.com How disgusting does THAT sound?

  7. Needs, Pins & Prophylactics
    Starbuck’s sleep center
    Buttplugs & Bran house of Emimas
    Unique things X 2
    Kevin Federline’s house of class & style
    Bjorn Freeh’s Petting Zoo (had to do it)

  8. [Comment ID #83989 will be quoted here]

    What’s an Emima? Is that like an Enema, but performed while watching “8 Mile”?

  9. [Comment ID #83989 will be quoted here]

    You flatter me. Maybe I should add an aquarium section to the zoo?

  10. Catholic Planned Parenthood Center

    The Spider Hutt Arachnophobia Clinic

    Pedophile Gymboree

    Jewish House of German Pancakes

    For Mitch: A Cracker Barrelfull of Monkeys

    Hooker Museum

    Cybersex Cinema

    Misanthropes United

    Music for the Deaf Institute

    Erin Go Braugh Suntanarama

    Diabetic Sugar Shack

    Man-Boob Bra Boutique

    Sweatsuit Lingerie and More!

    The Caffeinated Heart Smart Cafe

    Golem Discoteque

    Monster Salon

    Big & Portly Speedo Shop

    The Hip-Hop Ballerina Dance Studio

    Shaky’s In & Out Plastic Surgery

    Punctuation Junction!!!!!!

    The Accountant’s Couture

    Trikes, Bikes and Dykes

  11. I used to pass a daycare that had a big painted teddy bear cut out of plywood for their sign. There were chains holding the bear up by his hands, which you didn’t really notice from the front, but from the rear he looked like he was at Guantanamo or something. My wife and I called it the “Bear-in-chains bear.”

    Also, I apparently there is a business named WTF.

  12. [Comment ID #83992 will be quoted here]
    You know me too well

    [Comment ID #83994 will be quoted here]
    You don’t have an aquarium? Where are all of the Sea Monkey?

  13. Buster Cherry’s Hymen Stretchers and Hemorrhoidectomies.

    Nicole Ritchie’s Dietitian Services and House O’ Nuts.

    Billy Bob’s Truck Stop and Cafe. Eat and Get Gas. :java: 😕 :wtf: 👿

  14. Sam and Ella’s Resturant and Bar. This place really existed a few years back in a town not far from mine.

  15. Dusty Bunny’s House of Cheese
    Not Your Grandma’s Sex Toy Shop
    Tongs, Gongs and Double Dongs
    The Insomniac’s Pillow Warehouse
    Senor Steve’s Pinatas and China Plates
    Make Your Own Pottery and Drugs
    Lamps, Stamps and Clamps Galore!
    Viral Diseases and Dairy Shack
    Satan’s Bible Haven
    Dracula’s Tanning Salon and Garlic Hut

  16. [Comment ID #83983 will be quoted here]

    Well, if you saw Bowling for Columbine, then you saw that in Michigan you can get a free rifle from a bank by opening a checking account.

  17. It’s not uncommon to see car washes and laundromats together…
    However, I dimly recall a “Pup and Suds” … fast food joint/laundromat combo, in the wilds of Minnesota.

  18. [Comment ID #83984 will be quoted here]

    Waterbeds and stuff is still around and they still have the same STUFF. They also sell bongs,hemp clothes, neon candles, and well of course waterbeds. 😀

  19. Lisa …
    there really is a Hooker Museum museum in Amsterdam.
    They are also planning to have a statue made honoring hookers worldwide (read in in the paper, saw the pictures).
    Also a Condom Museum and Shoppe. (“Shoppe” to give it some class.

  20. Every once in a while I see a truck around town that says:
    “TLC Plumbing”
    Maybe they are extra gentle with your toilet?
    Or maybe You get a little extra with your plumbing?

  21. [Comment ID #83992 will be quoted here]

    Thank you for that, I think I just fell out of my chair. 😀

    I lived in a small town in CT that had a post office slash barber shop. They shared employees and everything. Like Mayberry for heaven’s sake!

  22. I grew up in a small farming community on the west side of san juaqine valley, calif. there was a small farm laber community that had a combanation grocery store, post office and meat market. you could get your welfare check, grocerys and held up all in on stop.

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