Spank my monkey

MrJohnson

Image via Mandy. No, that isn’t her. She plays with bigger monkeys (so I’m told).

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32 Replies to “Spank my monkey”

  1. Gee you’d think a monkey that big would be hung like King Kong- I’m semi disappointed. 🙁 :wtf: I can’t seem to understand why she is smiling so big- he’s still :limp:

  2. [Comment ID #234873 will appear here]

    She smiles because even though it’s not hung like King Kong it’s still as big as her arm. Bring on the fisting :wtf: :wang:

  3. that is pretty huge for a monkey! Most monkies and other primates are rather um…poorly endowed. :limp:
    I mean, if humans were hung even like gorillas, proportionately they’d be about 2-3 inches on average! eep.
    thank god early female humans selected for size!! :wang:

  4. [Comment ID #234879 will appear here]
    Yeah, and you know what they say about guys with big feet, maybe he has another endowment i could suck on!
    :wang:

  5. [Comment ID #234898 will appear here]

    And where have al your boyfriends been hiding if they are bigger than 2-3 “? Maybe I need to look for new meat, I mean, men… 😀

  6. You have the Sarah Silverman video, “I fucking Matt Damon”. Have you seen Jimmy Kimmel’s response, “I’m Fucking Ben Affleck”? Absolutely hilarious!

  7. Their relationship had become strained some time ago.

    He had been very supportive when she lost her job at the TV station, and was actually flattered that she would murder her husband in order to spend more time with him.

    But she became more and more depressed, even crotchety.

    He half-expected her to say the words that all knitted monkeys dread hearing from their creator: “I think we should knit other animals.”

    He knew it was over the day he leaned over her her with visibly amorous intent, and she screamed, “Get off me, you damn dirty woolen ape!”

    After that, things unraveled pretty quickly.

  8. After the marathon fabrication of her spankable monkey, “Jenny”
    moved on to smaller, but still enjoyable projects: To wit,
    a crocheted tie for a rooster (so she could choke her chicken) &
    a plaited leather bullwhip (so she could beat her meat).

  9. can you say this 3 times quickly?
    how many socks could a sock cutter cut if a sock cutter could cut socks?

    p.s. someone should knit this poor monkey some stitchy mcyarnpants

  10. [Comment ID #235205 will appear here]

    You know, it actually does look like Vin Diesel. They should re-release his movies with this monkey superimposed over him. Maybe then “The Pacifier” would be a little more interesting… :wtf:

    Mandy… just what in the hell was that website were you browsing when you stumbled across this gem of a photo? On second thought, maybe I don’t want to know…

  11. [Comment ID #234885 will appear here]

    Eek! Bring on the fisting?

    I don’t know about anyone else, but I can’t seem to stop doing my Kegels.

  12. “No mom, I’m not looking at dirty pictures on the internet. I’m looking at craft projects.”

  13. [Comment ID #234873 will appear here]

    Maybe he`s (the monkey) is in between sessions and making more as we speak, lmao!

  14. Wait until she knits a silk condom…

    No wonder that he’s so big but still so limp. ‘Tis the ‘Roids to blame… :limp:

  15. overheard: Have you ever been picked up by the fuzz? No but I’ve been swung around by my tits.

Comments are closed.