Sex on a Hot Tin Roof

I used to have a cat named Sex. I didn’t name it. My roommate Chris H. had the honors. He was inspired by a mutual friend, Kevin F. who had cats named Gravity and Reality. Chris’ rationale was it would be hilarious to yell “SEEEEEEEEX! Here Sex! Come on, pussy,” across the neighborhood. Consequently we found other amusing things about that name.

  1. “Don’t be afraid of Sex, unless she bites or scratches.”
  2. “Hey. Sex is waiting for you, outside that door. Right now.”
  3. “You hurt Sex!”
  4. “Haven’t you been paying any attention to Sex?”
  5. “Is Sex all you think about?”
  6. “How much does Sex weigh?”
  7. “I keep playing with Sex, but she just lays there.”
  8. “I saw Sex running through the house.”
  9. “There’s Sex on the walls.”
  10. “Sex was messy.”
  11. “Wow, there’s Sex toys everywhere.”
  12. “Sex is fast. She was here for only a minute.”
  13. “We got Sex from the Humane Society.”
  14. “Are you interesting in buying Sex?”
  15. “I am not playing with Sex until that poor pussy has had a trim.”
  16. “Having Sex really helps with our mouse infestation.”
  17. “I woke up early, looking for Sex all over the house.”
  18. “You want Sex? Try the litterbox.”
  19. “Don’t open that door! Sex will run away and never come back!”
  20. What would you have yelled to a cat named Sex?

Hey. We were 18.

28 Replies to “Sex on a Hot Tin Roof”

  1. [quote comment=”636632″]”Sex! Come get din-din!”
    “Sex kept me awake all night! She kept howling!”[/quote]
    lol!!

    the worst thing about sex in the backyard is all the fleas.

  2. Did you get your sweet little Sex fixed?

    Must be lunchtime for Sex – I smell tuna.

    Sex sure takes a long time to lick herself clean…

    I’ve never seen another pussy the color of Sex.

  3. I find stroking Sex so relaxing.

    Sex with a dog and you know there’ll be trouble.

    Our neighbors told us that they could have Sex while we went on vacation.

    Although she doesn’t like it, using a collar and leash with Sex is sometimes necessary.

    Sex is always dirty after coming home from a night out.

    We’ve tried everything to prevent Sex from producing little ‘uns.

    The main problem with having Sex is the coughing up of all those hairballs.

    The most fascinating thing about Sex is the way she can lick places that I could never hope to reach.

  4. [quote comment=”636644″]The most fascinating thing about Sex is the way she can lick places that I could never hope to reach.[/quote]
    Excellent.
    [quote comment=”636654″]I love Sex but I’m allergic.[/quote]
    How did we never think of that one?

  5. have you ever had Sex outside?
    Sex has a rough tongue
    Had to have Sex declawed..she was scratching me
    until I had Sex,I never had bushy tail

  6. My buddy had a dog named Stains. He would be out the front porch yelling “Come Stains!” “Come Stains!”

  7. Sex clawed me.
    Sex bit me.
    Sex hurled on the rug.
    Sex just dumped on the floor.
    All things that are NOT sexy…..unless of course you are into that type of sex stuff.

  8. Sex was some kinky tail
    Sex was Bill Clinton’s first pussy, until Moniqa came along, then Hillery cut Bills kinky tail off.

  9. -if you are going to have sex on the hood of my car again remember to wash off the prints
    -sex and barfing at 3:00 a.m. happens every night
    -why is sex always just waiting behind the door
    -sex here is always in the toilet
    -strange pussy and sex do not mix
    -sex feels best when outdoors laying in the sun

  10. Sex made a mess in the kitchen last nioght.
    I am not kidding. It looks like there was sex on the counter, in the cupboards, and all over the floor.

  11. [quote comment=”636664″]My buddy had a dog named Stains. He would be out the front porch yelling “Come Stains!” “Come Stains!”[/quote]

    This is a song I hear it all the time on Walton & Johnson. 🙄

  12. I am not playing with Sex until that poor pussy has had a trim

    grooming habits … no one likes an unmaintained pussy

  13. “sex cries ouside my house all night every night”
    “i can see that from the sound of that purr sex is pretty loud”
    “that little sex is crazy knocking things around all night”

  14. Late to the party, but here’s my submission …

    At feeding time, yelling out the window:

    Sex, come and get it!

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