Russell? Seriously?

Like many of you, I am addicted to HBO’s True Blood. Best. Show. Ever. Certainly the best vampire show. How then, did they come up with the bone-headed scheme of naming a 3,000 year-old vampire king Russell? Seriously? Russell means “red” so I can see the meaning, but seriously. A tri-millenial vampire should surely rank a spookier name than Russell.

However, since they feel this name is fitting, and from the storyline, it looks pretty certain that King Russ is going to be offed soon, I have some alternate names for the replacement king:

  1. Cuthbert
  2. Bubba Joe Billy Bob VI
  3. Pinkus
  4. Tiny Jim
  5. DJ Toofs
  6. Bingo the Clown
  7. Sunshine Deathray (which is apparently a real name)
  8. Mustafah Jones
  9. Dick Cheney
  10. What would you name the new vampire king?

6 Replies to “Russell? Seriously?”

  1. Thinking about it, there was no lack of whimpy Victorian guys’ names around the time that Bram Stoker was penning Dracula. How ‘bout:

    Cecil
    Clarence
    Quentin
    Carol
    Evelyn

    Although “Clarence the Dark Vampire Overlord” does have a ring to it.

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