Rejected Childrens Book Sequels

  1. Frog and Toad and Mortal Enemies
  2. Harriet the Spy in Guantanamo Bay
  3. Curious George throws his feces
  4. The 500 Diseases of Bartholomew Cubbins
  5. Where the Girls Gone Wild Things Are
  6. Horton Hears a Glock
  7. James and the Giant Bitch
  8. The Princess and the Period
  9. Everybody Poops. Just Not at School.
  10. Which ones did I miss?
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35 Replies to “Rejected Childrens Book Sequels”

  1. “Stoned Soup”
    “The Runaway, Crack Addicted, Whore of a Bunny”
    “Arthurs Trip to the Clinic: An Arthur Adventure”
    “The Giving Tree and Your Mom”
    “Where the Wild Weed Grows”
    “Charlotte’s Web of Deceit”
    “Charlie and the Fudge Packing Room”

  2. – Jack the Teen Stalker
    – Where da fuck Wally at?
    – Tom Thumb Sucker
    – The Thief of Baghdad and why Daddy voted for him.
    – Heidi – and other ways to greet a cowboy from Belfast.
    – Boyz in the Red Riding Hood
    – Peter Panhandler
    – The Secret Seven’s Deadly Sins
    – Pipi Longfishnetstocking

  3. “Harry & The Magic Mushrooms”

    “The Little Red Cherry”

    “The Crack Pipe That Could”

    “My Favourite Toys & Their Uses For Young Women”

  4. “Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Bone”
    “If You Give a Mouse Some Nookie”
    “The Lion, the Witch, the Wardrobe and Shared Custody”
    “Ron Jeremy’s Big Surprise Book of Pop-ups”
    “Bridge to Terrorbitchia: Mommy’s Monthly Adventure”
    “Aesop’s Fabled Tallywhacker”

  5. Bin-Laden and the 40 Thieves

    The Velveteen Elvis

    Super-Fudge II: The Leather Years

    Harry Potter and the Flaming Organ

    Ramona Does Him Again

    The Berenstein Bears Go Gangsta

  6. “The BFG” (The Big Fuckin’ Giant)

    “Charlie and the Nike Factory”

    “Where the Sidewalk Ends and So Does Your Life!”

    “The Cat Shat in the Hat”

    “One Fish, Two Fish and Red Fish Blew Fish”

  7. To lower the tone even more.

    – Rabbi Rumpelstiltskin?
    – Charlotte Devours Her Mate.
    – Chicken Little of Lockerbie.
    – Chitty Chitty Bang Bang II, Landmines in Vulgaria.
    – Green Ham and Fly eggs: Why Sam I Am should Clean his Refrigerator More Often.

  8. “Guess How Much I Hate You”

    “Wibbly the Pig Makes a B.L.T.”

    “The Little Train That Did’nt Give A Shit”

    “Peppi the Puppy Crosses the Border”

    “The Big Book of Just Leave Me Alone”

    “I Hate to Cook, Clean, Shop….” Fill in the blank on this one.

  9. [Comment ID #95947 will be quoted here]

    We can go lower still, Lung. How about “Rumpledforeskin”?

    I envision Peter Falk in the title role on the PBS live-action adaptation…

  10. Stolen from some list I saw a while back…but it made me laugh..

    The Child’s Guide to Attention Deficit Dis…..hey let’s go ride bikes.

  11. Bob the Builder Builds a Crackhouse
    Thomas the Engine Imports Slave Labor
    Charlottes Web of Lies
    Curious George goes to an Animal Tesing Lab
    Babar Gets Poached
    Allison Wonderland, an Expose into the Sex Life of Freaky-Deaky Otherworldly People
    Gulliver Contracts NAsty STDS Abroad

  12. Bambi and other deer daddy shot
    Little Red’s clitoral hood
    Horton Hump’s a Ho
    Arthur and the methadone clinic
    C is for Crack a child’s first letter book
    Crack Ho’s – A touch and feel book
    Nancy Drew and the mystery of the busted hymen

  13. “The Muppet Chainsaw Massacre”
    “Jack’s First Red Wings”
    “Harry Potter and the Wiccan Fag”
    “One Ho, Two Ho, Brown Ho, Black Ho”
    “Mickey’s Disney Ride Malfunction Adventure”
    “Why Does Daddy Touch Me There?”
    “Blackmail Your Way To An A+”
    “Are You There, God? Well, F*** Off!”
    “Potty Chairs For Dummies”

  14. “Alice in Wonderlust”
    “Peter Panhandler”
    “Dorothy Does the Emerald City”
    “How The Little Mermaid became the Big Old Bitter Mermaid”
    “Make My Little Brother Go Away For Good: A How To Book”
    “Unmentionable Fun With Farm Animals”

  15. “Froggie went a’ humping”
    “Little Black Sambo–‘Mine’s Biggern yours!”
    “The Little Engine That Did”
    “Uncle Remus Tails–My old Kentucky Ho”

    😛 👿 😈 🙄 :wtf: ❗

  16. Fresh from Disney!

    Pinocchio’s adventures in San Francisco
    Skanky Ho and the 7 dwarves
    20,000 leagues below the Sea II: Going down on Nemo
    Faggotasia
    Rapunzilla
    Cinderfella’s surprise
    Dumbo & Dumboer
    Finding Nemo naked

  17. 1. Horton hears the strange rumbling of an impending irritable bowel attack.
    2. Madeline learns fisting.
    3. Green eggs and drool.
    4. Little Red Riding Hood and her herpes.
    5. The three bears eat Godilocks.
    6. Harry Potter and his new wand.

  18. here are some best sellers….Barnes and Noble should have them:

    One Pill Two Pill Red Pill Blue Pill (just what the Matrix needed)

    Heather Has Two MILFS

    Dick In Jane, and Mary (The Hot 3some)

    How to Eat Fried Chicken

  19. My Sisters Hamper.
    The Hole In My Daddy’s Arm Is Where The Money Goes.
    Boner! by Judy Blume
    Climbing Rope For The Soul
    Are You My Foster Mommy?
    Feral Cats and Bunnies Go To Town. by Richard Scarry
    Rikilickmytavi
    The Goloryhole Adventures Of Goofus and Galliant
    Tom Thumbinherbum

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