Overused Movie Clichés #4: Cops & Strippers

  1. In any strip club, there will only only three men at the catwalk, watching the strippers. These men will only hand out one dollar tips, yet the strippers will somehow earn $1,000+ a night and live in lavish apartments.
  2. There will also be one bouncer in the strip club and a detective at the bar who “knows the girls”.
  3. None of the strippers are ever crack or heroin addicts.
  4. All male action leads are able deliver straight face comedic lines in the face of danger.
  5. There is always a parking spot in front of any hospital, police station, movie theatre. Car doors need not be locked, even in downtown Detroit, Chicago, New York.
  6. Parking tickets are only given by police officers in small towns.
  7. All sheriffs are white, Texan, wear sunglasses, and have reddish mustaches.
  8. All police chiefs are African American, pudgy, angry, and have the authority to suspend any cop for any reason, and never need to worry about shortages and other cops having to fill the shift.
  9. All detectives are divorced alcoholics that are incapable of cleaning their apartments. Despite their appalling living conditions, they are able to score with leggy blondes who own all of Victoria’s Secret’s latest lines.
  10. All killers will have one last chance to rise up and kill after being burned, drowned or hacked to ribbons. No one will hear them stand up, but someone will have a weapon ready and will deliver the perfect killing stroke.
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18 Comments

  1. Anna

    Please tell me the name of this move. I want to go see it. It sounds like a hit.

  2. Driver

    All strippers are stripping because its [ GOOD MONEY ] and they only do it to give thier basterd child a better life than they had .

  3. Selkielass

    That phonetrace.org link should be labled NSFW.

  4. Shamrock

    Selkielass is right . . . :wtf:

  5. Anna

    All the :boob: :boob: are big and firm

  6. OH MY GOD! That’s not where my cell phone is! :wtf:

  7. mikeB

    Oh sweet Jesus Christ on a Crutch, Dave! I had no idea my cellphone was doing THAT! :wtf:

  8. Spud

    11. The good guy always has “one” shot left, no matter that he/she just blasted off 4,000 rounds, there is always one last shot.

  9. liza

    [Comment ID #80937 will be quoted here]
    what is NSFW?
    not sutable for women??
    i think ill get a new cell phone, since i’ve seen where mines been :puke:

  10. Selkielass

    [Comment ID #80947 will be quoted here]
    So Liza, what *are* your thoughts on yaoi?

  11. [Comment ID #80947 will be quoted here]

    NSFW = Not Safe For Work

  12. bowler

    Actually, in regards to #5, everyone I know who lives in Chicago and owns a car (and street parks it) leaves their doors unlocked. The reason why is that if you leave your door unlocked, you might wake up to a bum sleeping in your back seat, and your change stolen.

    If you leave your door locked, you wake up to a bum sleeping in your back seat, your change stolen, and your window is broken.

  13. In the case of scary movies, the cops will never believe you when you say a dead man is killing all your friends. “But, I swear Officer! I’m not crazy!”

  14. yarrr

    did you just watch tango and cash again too?! that movie had pretty much all the things you listed, plus tons of (unintentional?) homo-eroticness.
    gotta love the 80’s!

  15. And none of the strippers are ever knocked up.

  16. Rachel

    OMG that was fuckin groossss and extremely fucking gay. I want to burn my eyes out!!!! :dead:

  17. Myra

    Oh my God! Did the phone trace thing while at work, thank God my boss didn’t walk up behind me or I would have been so fired! :limp:

Comments are closed