Overheard: Cannibal Edition

cannibal?I had to capture the speaker’s visage for you, dear readers, so you may avoid this person, should your paths ever cross. Not the best photo, but it’s at least recognizable.

Man in photo: “I’m just saying… I’d eat a newborn if it came between me starving and that.”

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27 Replies to “Overheard: Cannibal Edition”

  1. Wha??? Newborns??!!!! No way, man. That’s disgusting! Newborns are too ripe. I do, however, enjoy the taste of a nice tender fetus. I can taste it now, with a hint of rosemary and maybe some red wine if the mood strikes me.

  2. My family is always asking me when I’m going to settle down and have a baby.
    I tell them as soon as I get a good recipe for one.

  3. You know why they always boil water during child birth…

    “soup is on!”

    ok that joke was lame (even by my standard).

  4. 😕 I’m just curious why it has to be a newborn? Why not a five year old or a twenty year old?

    💡 I’ve got a great rub reciepe if he’s looking to smoke the baby!

  5. … and please, before roasting, make sure the little rug rat has been thoroughly cleaned, else some unpleasant surprise at the dinner table …

  6. Nina, I certainly would not have a problem eating a 20 year old, as a matter of fact I’m getting a :wang: thinking about it.

  7. Here’s all I want to know..
    Would he eat it raw or cooked? And if raw, how raw? Still kicking?

    Bleh I feel sick.. 🙁 :dead:

  8. How do you eat a newborn….

    One leg behind the right ear
    One leg behind the left ear…..

  9. He’s just trying to be tough as Jonathan Swift, the first real baby eater…

    i.e. “A Modest Proposal”

    👿

  10. This reminds me of the time when DH and I were at a restaurant, and there was a couple with a baby at the next booth. An old man who was on his way out approached the booth, made babytalk at the baby, gave it a dollar (I kid you not), and said, “Little babies! I loves ’em! HAH!” (He had a real Scatman Cruthers vibe going, but with a lot more gold jewelry.) Once he got out of earshot, as we sat there trying not to EXPLODE, my loving husband did a dead-on imitation of the old man, but said, “I likes ’em with HOT SAUCE! HAH!”

    I’ve never quite gotten over it.

  11. This guy needs to get Fat Bastard’s number to find out where he can score some high quality newborns. Maybe they can go out for a newborn diner, and maybe go hunting for wild newborns together. They can develop a true friendship and have some meaningful male-bonding experiences, and all because of their love of baby eating.
    Baby. It’s what’s for diner!

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