On Golden Shower Pond

I recently had my full physical examination from the doctor. All is well, although one comment from the nurse threw me a little. “We need a urine sample. Take this cup to the bathroom and hold it under the urine stream.” Had she used ‘your’ in place of ‘the’, I might not had noticed.

As a result, while I peed, I imagined being under the urine stream as a happy place, a fairytale land with dew-lit butterflies and gamboling elves. Perhaps even a poem. Under the Urine Stream, by Walt Whitman. Rime of the Ancient Uriner, by Coleridge.

And why must it be a stream? What if you had a raging urine river? Here’s some other titles I thought up as I held my cup under the urine stream.

  1. The Babbling Urine Brook
  2. Noah’s Ark and the Urine Flood
  3. A Tribute to the Urine Tributary
  4. The Quiet Urine Creek
  5. The Urine Well
  6. Sailing the Urine Seas
  7. The Fountain of Urine
  8. Ten Days Alone: Yellow-Water Rafting in Colorado
  9. And I cannot resist, On Golden Pond
  10. What titles can you come up with?

46 Replies to “On Golden Shower Pond”

  1. Urine writing in the snow
    urine targeting
    “four score and seven yellow streams ago”
    Golden clothes by the yellow stream

  2. p. p. cummings – of happy faces pissed in snow
    paul bowles – let it come down
    harry crews – where does one go when there’s no place left to go?
    sylvia plath – crossing the water
    margaret atwood – the penelo’pee’ad
    patti smith – pissing in a river
    andres serrano – piss christ
    c.s. lewis – the chronicles of urinia
    henry miller – the waters reglitterized
    lou peed – pew sensations

  3. THE STAND (and urinate); THE SHINING urine; SALEM’S LOT of urine; IT urinated; FIRE STARTER (it burns, it burns when I pee!); MISERY (I can’t pee); GERALD’S GAME (piss on the toilet seat); INSOMNIA (I gotta go again); SECRET WINDOWS (to piss out of); THINNER (man, I really had to piss!); DESPERATION (I really gotta go piss); STORM OF THE CENTURY (aaah, much better); and BLAZE (dammit, it still burns when I piss!).

  4. Alien Urination

    If you follow sports, how about ‘The Raider Urination”

    If Dave had used his camera phone while peeing, would he have shot ‘streaming video’?

    If he was listening to Dolly Parton, would it have been ‘Islands In The Stream’?

  5. Urine Big Trouble In Little Chinatown

    You’re A Peein’ Vacation

    Urine The Movies

    Urine Man

    Handcock

    Honey, I Urinated On The Kids

    Waterworld

    The Man With Two Streams

    For you horror fans – Stream and Stream 2

    Streamgirls

  6. a lighter shade of pale…yellow
    the whizzard of oz
    the yellow submarine
    old yeller
    il nage dans la pisscine
    wee wee herman
    tinkle tinkle little star
    hey someone took a leak in my dribble cup
    dr. leaky i presume?
    peepee le pew
    my heart pumps toilet water
    urine no position to be relieving yourself from duty
    pees in a pod
    flomax by upjohn

  7. ordinary peeple
    jerusalem the golden by margaret dribble
    broke back fountain
    the trickle down theory
    honey, i wet my pants 2
    bedwets and broomsticks
    cobladderal damage

  8. When urine Rome, dew like the Romans dew.

    Urine My Heart (“Rod” Stewart)
    Urine Love: Charlie Brown
    Urine The Navy Now (old flick)
    National Lampoon’s Yer A’Peein’ Vacation

  9. And the ever-popular protector of undergarment consumers everywhere: Ralph Uri Nader!

  10. Mr Zilla, sir, if you indeed reside in Royal Toke, then you are not too far from Port Urine, over there where the BW bridge heads to S’narnia.

    Wow, I got to use my one locational p joke, how about that.

  11. Finding yourself in a piss poor mood? Well, Urine luck! Take a trip. First, fly to L.A. for a Dodger’s game. After making this stadium stop, fly to the Europeean inContinence. Then on to Italy to see the Leaning Tower of Peesa. After you get to Germany, be sure to take a dip in the Urhine. From there, go visit St. Peetersburg and see the latest Sex Pisstols concert. After that, hop a plane to Hawaii and watch the tide ebb and flow at Wa-pee-pee beach. End your trip in the US by visiting Peeattle, WA. Worried about this jaunt draining your stream of income? It’ll be ok if you book this trip on Expeedia.com. so you won’t piss away your money. The benefits to you will trickle in.

  12. Rusty Bed Springs by I.P. Nightly. (somebody had to say it)

    The Gargling

    The Gargling 11

    Revenge of The Garglors

    Miss Pisspots health guide for young women

  13. If you’re American in the kitchen, what are you in the bathroom?
    Yer-a-pein! (European)

  14. [quote comment=”450003″]THE STAND (and urinate); THE SHINING urine; SALEM’S LOT of urine; IT urinated; FIRE STARTER (it burns, it burns when I pee!); MISERY (I can’t pee); GERALD’S GAME (piss on the toilet seat); INSOMNIA (I gotta go again); SECRET WINDOWS (to piss out of); THINNER (man, I really had to piss!); DESPERATION (I really gotta go piss); STORM OF THE CENTURY (aaah, much better); and BLAZE (dammit, it still burns when I piss!).[/quote]
    Patrick, you son-of-a-gun! i almost peed my pants! 😀

  15. [quote comment=”450005″]No man is an island but when you pee, urination.[/quote]

    (mine’s not an original but… 🙄 )

    As you arrive at the city limits a big sign proclaims “Welcome, Urine Sample. the city of Sample is a Historic one boasting many notable events and geological facts…

  16. [quote comment=”451773″]WHAT A STUPID TOPIC….[/quote]
    oh like yourine the know about smart topics? what’s the NC stand for? Non Comprendez? :gay:

  17. Apparently not too stupid if NC (no charge, non-com, Norf Caroliner, nut case) keeps reading and responding. Such a piss-tol. :limp: He’s all wet.

  18. Excuse my gender specifism; NC might be a female or even a herm. If this is the case, I sincerly apologize for causing any splatter of bladder matter.

  19. For my money, it was a brilliant topic, the responses were excellent.
    It was funny, witty and it was our fearless benefactors twisted sick mind that thought it up in the first place.
    How much better does it get.

    “I’d give it a two thumbs up Jim” 😉 😉

    :gay: 😛

  20. [quote comment=”452447″]For my money, it was a brilliant topic, the responses were excellent.
    It was funny, witty and it was our fearless benefactors twisted sick mind that thought it up in the first place.
    How much better does it get.

    “I’d give it a two thumbs up Jim”

    😉 😉

    :gay: :P[/quote]
    yeah, so, Piss off NC. unless pissing on people (or being pissed on) get’s you off 👿 you came to Z-land for education, you no-funny-bone, piss ant? this ain’t school, this ain’t church, and this ain’t yo mamas house, you live-in-ma-mama’s-basement-and-just-got-a-camputie-machine-down-here-far-lookin-at-nekid-womins-pictures-mutha-fucka! yeah!

  21. [quote comment=”451584″]HOW STUPID…DON’T YOU HAVE BETTER THINGS TO PUT YOUR MIND TO??[/quote]

    Well actually, since I have to monitor my urine to find out if medication is causing liver damage I don’t mind the comedic aspect of this topic. I was going to say “To pee, or not to pee” but StevieC beat me to it (haha). Too bad I keep losing my stream of thought.

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