Notes to Self, No. 5,822, Nachos Edition

  1. “Restaurant Style” tortilla chips means, “Our retarded bagger sat on them, crushing each chip to an ant-sized bite.”
  2. Four jalapenos are more than sufficient for one plate of nachos. Eleven may be over the top. Trust me on this.
  3. Cats will not eat nachos, not matter how hungry they are.
  4. True fact: Queso is actually made from molten Play-Doh.
  5. The number of ounces of cheese you add to nachos is directly proportional to the number of hours you will spend regretting the decision to make nachos.
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26 Replies to “Notes to Self, No. 5,822, Nachos Edition”

  1. F*ck! that was f*cking brilliant eh.

    Laughed my f*cking arse off, yeah f*ck you Bill O’Reilly too you great f*cking knuckleheaded muthaf*cka.

    F*ck Christmas!

    oh yeah, cheese blocks your f*cking bowels up.

    f*cking cheese

    :boobs:

  2. I think four nachos isn’t nearly enough. There is always one guy(usually me) who likes to eat ALL the nachos, preferrably on 1 single nacho, tell you how good they are, then call you later that night complaining how much his ass is burning. :hurl:

    I cannot lie, i am a fox news watcher, but sometimes even i wish Bill O’reilly, and John Gibson were in a horrific car accident. (that’s horrible, what did they ever do to me?) :wtf:

  3. How dare they call that a hate crime against christianity! 👿 People were saying happy holidays long before it was politically correct. 🙄

  4. :twisted:I must say with all sincerity and with all the love of the baby Jesus in my heart and loins….FUCK XMAS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That felt better.

  5. I just hate to think what Bill O’Reilly would do with an exfoliated taco. “A no spit zone!” 👿

  6. my cat eats nachos 😕

    he’ll actually eat anything that remotely looks apetizing…

    one time he snagged a bite size candy bar right out of my friends hand…(little bastard):evil:

  7. Christmas is all about fucking. Some virgin got fucked by god, and gave birth to a fucking miracle worker. A bunch of fucking nutzoids fucking killed him for fucking going around making them look fucking bad.
    Nowadays, fucking people celebrate this fucking day by chopping down fucking living trees, or digging holes in the fucking ground, sucking out fucking oil and fucking processing it into fucking polyester and fucking plastic. Fucking everybody fucking buys every fucking piece of fucking junk to give to their fucking friends and fucking relatives. Fuck, think of the fucking money being fucking made. Fucking people go home and get fucking drunk, go to fucking bed, fuck around for a fucking while, fucking get up and open fucking presents.

    I fucking say, it’s the fucking way to fucking spend an otherwise fucked-up time of the fucking year, with your fucked-up loved ones, in your fucked-up homes, sharing fucking fuck and fucking fuck.

    Everybody, FUCK OFF AND HAVE A FUCKING MERRY FUCKMAS, AND A FUCKING HAPPY NEW FUCKING YEAR!

  8. I reckon Rust should be George W’s speech writer.

    Inject that certain jena se’qua to them.

    😛

  9. Thanks rust for the heads up. I think you need to have a drink or two. Don’t wait until New Year’s Eve. Start early. 😆

  10. Both of my cats are nacho freaks. If they hear a bag begin opened they come running and complain until I give them one. Jalapeno-flavoured seems to be a crowd favourite.

    Maybe I’m slowly making my cats sick, but the sound of a cat crunching a nacho is surprisingly entertaining…

  11. ROFLMAO!!!

    Back when I was a fundie-right-wing-extremist Christian, I wouldn’t celebrate Christmas, as it was a pagan holiday.

    Now that I’m a pagan, I am doing Yule, not Christmas, as Christmas is a christian holiday…

    Help, I need medication for the head-spinning.

  12. nachos with jalapenos…good for ya when your plumbing needs cleaning out…the more peppers the better…burns so good all they way down…and out. :dead:

    Bill O’Rielly is a true fucking prick. I agree with Spud…he should be dubwa’s speech writer.
    Lace..make that an exfoliating taco for his asshole..and tell O’Reilly to leave the pussy to someone who knows how to pet them correctly.

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