Note to self: 5,017

Cologne. It’s a privilege, not a body soak.

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16 Replies to “Note to self: 5,017”

  1. Anybody notice how every hiegene product has a strong odor these days? I feel sorry for the ladies.

    Smelly shampoo, conditioner, body wash, bar soap, hand soap, shaving cream/jel, body lotion, body powder, hair gel, hair spray, deodorant, and more. To top it all off, they add some perfume.

    For guys, it’s a bit easier, but I do know a few who will use their ‘sport’ body wash, old spice deodorant, and a spraydown of Axe.

    I try and keep my scent to a minimum. No cologne, and as much unscented other stuff as possible.

  2. dude, if you don’t shower as often as you should it better damn well be a privilege because I sure as hell don’t want to smell a mixture of B.O. and ass while I’m around you. That shit’s contagious.

  3. The key word here is *subtlety*.

    Reminds me of a Carol Liefer joke from many moons ago:
    “Cologne after showering, not instead of showering.”

  4. It has always surprised me how ‘afraid’ americans (especially woman) are about their own smell. Now I’m not talking about BO, but tehir natural smell. How many smelly body-products can one person use/need!!!

    Hello peoples …. back from vacation/house moving

  5. Anna, well apparently only one in europe! ;P

    Now seriously…we americans must mask the natural sex pheromones that we exude in our innate “scents” because – lest you forget – we are indeed the most hypocritically puritanical nation on the face of the earth. It’s how we trick people into marrying us then rationalizing “irreconcilable differences” later. It means we lie and we value lying. Hell we lie to each other’s face daily…We Americans respect that; how do you think Bill Clinton got elected? 😀

  6. All I can say is that round my way the standard outfit for an unemployed man on the hunt for a fine women, is as follows:

    1/ A Ben Sherman Shirt
    2/ Pair of Jeans
    3/ Heavily Gel Styled Hair
    4/ A Whole bottle of “Eau de Kong”

    These strange “Shermanites” congregate in most of the public houses and clubs in the town center and are almost always inexplicably called Stuart.

    It is my belief that they all live in a cave together and every Saturday they wake up and drift towards the nearest bar with the intent of drinking their own weight in lager and starting fights.

    The stench they produce is something else…..flowers wilt, eyes water and for all inclusive purposes they are almost impossible to approach.

    Except by the “Orange Bottle Blondie” that is, a strange sub-species that is heavily attracted to the “Shermanite” male.

    In accordance with this attraction, evolution has endowed these creatures with a covering of make up so orange and thick that it renders them immune to fumes.
    Much like the “Shermanite” male and his “Eau de Kong” the “Orange Bottle Blondie” has enough perfume on at any one time, as to put Avon out of business.

    They also have an uncanny habit of approaching us “normal” guys and attempting to pick us up with offers of easy sex, before becoming over emotional with rejection and overdosing on tart fuel beverages.

    WARNING : This unwanted attention can enrage the Shermanites and make them jealous of the prestige with the “ladies” a normal human possesses. Especially one with a job.
    The best way to avoid the unwanted attack that is sure to follow outside, is retreat quietly and outwit the gang of Stuarts by leaving before closing time….something they would never consider doing.

    😕

  7. HEALTH WARNING:

    TOO MUCH COLOGNE CAN REDUCE SEXUAL PERFORMANCE.*

    *It’s hard to have sex if she wont go near you.

    😕

  8. Margaret –

    It’s not just the Americans. As far as I know, “Cologne” is universal among English speakers for “Koeln” (forgive my lack of umlaut). Same deal for French speakers, who also use “Cologne”. At least, that’s what Babelfish tells me.

    Sean

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