Movie Reviews in Haiku

Reviews in Haiku

300
Best. Movie. Evar.
Goddamned kids keep yelling out,
“Dude! This… is… SPARTAAAAAA!”

Beowulf
Did they really have
Hot chicks like Angelina
In ancient Denmark?

Spiderman 3
Wow, three criminals
That’s three times the excitement
And one third the plot.

Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End
Captain Jack is gone
Thankfully Keira has not
Gotten breast implants.

Tenacious D in The Pick of Destiny
Jack and Kyle rock out
But Ben Stiller’s cameo
Just sucks donkey balls.

23 Replies to “Movie Reviews in Haiku”

  1. The Towering Inferno
    Tall building burning bright in the night
    People falling and hitting rock bottom
    But not as badly as cast’s careers

    Rambo
    Angry older man comes to shoot and kill
    Several doubles needed to help the illusion
    and special graphics computers will hide the walker

    ZillaGirls: The Movie
    Mounds of fun flesh quiver in the light
    Given four :wang: ‘s for trampoline action
    Hope it goes straight to Blueray

  2. The Towering Inferno

    Tall building burning bright in the night/
    People falling and hitting rock bottom/
    But not as badly as cast’s careers.

    Rambo

    Angry older man comes to shoot and kill/
    Several doubles needed to help the illusion/
    and special graphics computers will hide the walker.

    ZillaGirls: The Movie

    Mounds of fun flesh quiver in the light/
    Given four :wang: ‘s for trampoline action/
    Hope it goes straight to Blueray!

    Don’t know why the previous post was all bunched together. Sorry.

  3. Transformers:
    Robots come from space
    turning into cars and trucks.
    How cool is that man?

    Hulk:
    Hulk big green and hype.
    Hulk smash everything in sight
    and movie’s success.

  4. 2001 A Space Odyssy:

    Big thing in jungle/moon

    Where’d it come from? Let’s find out!

    “Open the pod bay doors, Biatch!!

    Whoa…Big fetus up there!!!

  5. Brokeback Mountain

    Grown men snuggle with no women allowed/
    If it floats your boat, well ok then/
    If it beats helping sheep over fences

    Dave’s Fetching Kitty Video

    Soft little kitty chases and brings things/
    Kitty chasing things brings smiles/
    As long as it doesn’t involve open window

  6. Titanic—

    Big maiden boat voyage
    Dippy lovers fornicate to Canadian songbird’s plaintive wails
    Iceberg puts end to endless movie. :puke: 😕 🙄 😛

  7. Blade Runner, The Matrix(1), Return of The Dragon, Singing In The Rain…

    “What?… There is, too, a theme…”

  8. [Comment ID #223169 will appear here]

    (Hint: They all have water-&-carbon based life forms AND paradigm-busting…)

  9. Did anyone see “How Green Was My Valley”, a masterpiece of cinematic creativity.
    Did it star Vera Hruba Ralston, Howard Hughes’ squeeze ? 😕 😛 😆 :wtf:

  10. [Comment ID #223186 will appear here]
    [Comment ID #223187 will appear here]

    Me neither, but I saw “The Green Berets”.

    I s’pose that don’t count either.

    And that Marine officer wasn’t Vera Hruba Ralston, it was John Wayne.

    Boy are you confused.

  11. [Comment ID #223187 will appear here]

    It’s close, but not the same. I’m napped out. Have been to a Hillary rally and gotten
    charged up. 🙄 ❗ :kiss:

  12. [Comment ID #223189 will appear here]

    No, Lake, that doesn’t count. I think it would be pretty hard to confuse
    John Wayne and Vera Hruba Ralston! :wtf: 😕 😛

Comments are closed.