More people we dislike

  1. The Brotherhood of Bikers: In my town, there is a rather extensive gang of “Christian Bikers” known collectively as Riders for the Son. Perhaps I didn’t pay enough attention in Sunday School, but I don’t recall Jesus requesting his followers to ride Harleys and fuck shit up.
  2. I am Metrosexual. Hear me score. Look, I like to dress well. I go to a hair stylist as opposed to a barber. Primarliy because I’d rather have my head touched by a stylish, young woman than a lecherous ex-con. I draw the line at getting manicures, man bags, plucked eyebrows and apricot scrub facials. Sorry fellas. If you submit to those, you might as well be wearing a skirt and drinking Zima or Coors.
  3. The Neighborhood Bully: Explanation needed? Really?
  4. Are my breasts pressed together enough to hold your undivided attention while I try to weasel out of this parking ticket? No. Keep pressing.
  5. The guy with a “friend who happens to be black / Jewish / Asian / Hispanic / something”. Listen, Dr. King. If you’re really not race or color conscious, you wouldn’t remind us every time that you have one friend who isn’t snowball white like you.
  6. “Why do they insist on making clothes in size four? No one is that size!” News flash, Rosie O’Donnell. Lots of women exercise and grasp the rudimentary concept of portion control. Lots of women are under 120 lbs. There’s even women under 110 lbs that [gasp] don’t have eating disorders!
  7. “Yeah, it’s a BMW. You can look. I allow that.” Yeah, I don’t care.
  8. “My dick is so big, she can’t handle it.” Guess what, John Holmes? Every woman you have ever, or will ever sleep with, has already had men with larger equipment, who earned more money and lasted longer than you. Deal with it.
  9. “I’d really prefer you not smoke. I know we’re outside and the wind is blowing the opposite direction of me but…” MYOFB, Everett Koop. Let them kill themselves anyway they want. They’ll die from lung cancer and you’ll die from choking on the Hostess Cupcakes you hoard in your cubicle.
  10. Who’s pissing you off, lately?
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47 Replies to “More people we dislike”

  1. The “I work hard, but I play hard” guy. How do we kill this guy? He just won’t go away.

    The “green”, carbon neutral, carbon offset nut who won’t shut the fuck up.

    People at work who think I give a shit about their kid or their kid’s accomplishments, or whatever their kid’s organization is selling this week (meaning their parents are selling it – at work).

    People who overuse the term “killer”, as in “iPod killer”, “Google killer”, etc. Fuck off.

    People out in the real world who use “2.0” to describe a revision/version of something. You’re not hip, dork. Honorable mention: still using “beta” in your logo.

    Old people who love Harleys and still think they’re cool. Harley-Davidson is the new Cadillac, deal with it you fat baby-boomer asshole. You dress like a gay guy into bondage while your bike sounds like it’s constantly farting.

  2. “You know, that’s just what I was thinking” – This asshole will listen in on a conversation that didn’t include him and as soon as someone tells how they solved a problem, He chimes in…

    Taggers who defend themselves to the press and general public as being ‘artists’ who are improving the side of your house with their vision…

    The A.C.L.U. who files court actions stating that the deathrow convict who was going to be put to death shouldn’t be because it’s cruel and unusual punishment and violates his liberties because he might ‘feel discomfort’ while saying absolutely NOTHING about the discomfort of the elderly woman he beat to death with a crowbar. BTW, this Nevada convict actually wanted to die with out interference of anybody… 👿

    People who change their avatar to a nice sexy backside then very quickly change it to a bananna, frustrating the male population of the site… :kiss: 😆 😀

  3. [Comment ID #212675 will be quoted here]

    I’ll have you know I’ve changed it about 4 times since then. I get bored easily. 😆 :kiss:

    You know I agree with everyone you guys listed. If I came in contact with them it would piss me off as well, but I just don’t. Now I’m pissed off that I don’t come in contact with more people that piss me off!

    Ergo, I guess I piss myself off! 😛

  4. The idiot who comes screaming down the one remaining open lane of construction congestion when the other three are backed up for 2 miles. None of the other 130 cars “noticed” the open lane apparently. Of course, the final act is to then jam his/her way in at the last minute causing everyone else to lock brakes and perpetuate the gridlock. Generally a late model German sedan with a driver who sincerely believes their needs to get there quicker or more important than the rest of society’s.

  5. assholes in front of me who go the speed limit on the freeway to come to a sudden stop when they see an accident, (to ) so i can have a heart attack coming to a screeching halt less than a foot behind me. the car behind me honks, as he comes to a screeching halt two inches behind me. instant toyota sandwich. ❓

  6. taggers are lame, Harleys are still cool-Build them yourself not everyone can afford the new ones-Don’t hate the player hate the game -Oh yea Iron Maiden Rules

  7. The Recycle-o-rama Idiot! This jerk is always out when I am taking my trash out and actually looking through what I am throwing away and telling me that, “you could have recycled that carton if you had taken the time to wash it and removed all the grease, yadda yadda.” Oh shut the hell up! I recycle cans and newspapers and you can take a flying leap.
    Last time, I sent my kid out with the trash and told her to scream at the top of her lungs if this guy tried to talk to her, as a joke, you know. Sure enough, 5 minutes later I hear a blood curdling scream of “Stranger!” and half the neighbors are out of their house wondering what’s going on. Haven’t seen him since. Ha! I win!! 👿

  8. Women that wear very low cut tops with one of those bras that make the cleavage just pour out and then get offended when a guy looks there.
    I am not one to stare at a woman’s chest when having a conversation with her, but when you stuff 10 pounds of breast in a 5 pound shirt, you are gonna get plenty of looks to that area and every woman KNOWS guys look.
    If you don’t want guys looking at your :boob: :boob: then wear a friggin poncho. Everyone knows guys love :boob: :boob: and having yours bursting out of your top with enough cleavage to easily hold my beer is only going to encourage it so stop acting offended. The only reason to wear clothes like that is to get noticed so when it works you shouldn’t act offended as if you had no idea your boobs were busting out when you left the house.

  9. “My dick is so big, she can’t handle it.”

    I never understood this spam sales pitch. Um…dude? If you dick is too big for the ladies, doesn’t that mean you’re not going to get laid ever again? And just think, guy, you paid a lot of money for that! :limp:

    when I invite people to my house and change the music which I put on without asking

    Ooooh, I hate people who come over to your place and tell you how to live your life. There was one guy who was visiting my roommate while I sat on the floor stretching for a tennis game. He positioned himself in front of me and then proceeded to lecture me on how I should find tennis shorts that were “more modest” or be “more careful” when I’m stretching out.

    Hey–don’t like it? Don’t look! Or better yet, go to your own house and pontificate to your own significant other. Oh? You don’t have one? Huh. Maybe you should try getting a bigger dick….

  10. I don’t hate anybody.

    I could even be friends with my X if she ever pulled her fucking head out of her ass.

    OK, maybe I hate a little. I can if I want to. Oh bite me.

  11. [Comment ID #212818 will be quoted here]

    You gotta 9 from me. You’re going to have to earn the last one. The car salesman losing it nearly put you there, but too many kitty posts held you back.

  12. People who just CAN’T listen to someone even mention that they are a different religion without going on about their own religion.

    Guys and girls that are so cocky about how nice looking they are, but they’re really ugly :limp:

    Women who get fake breast implants and then complain about how men are always staring at her :boob: :boob:

  13. [Comment ID #212806 will be quoted here]

    well, if you knew how much I’m into the Rolling Stones you’d understand the flying fit I throw, so childish in fact, they will never do that again 😛

  14. Ummm Dave, with all the babe pics you’ve posted, why did you choose the gay sandwich pic for people to vote on?

  15. Motherfucking Fox Sports putting that stupid giant fake TV Screen over the field after every commercial break. Then cutting out of the Packers vs. Vikings in the 3rd quarter, because GB was kicking Minnesota’s ass, so we can see two shit teams “battle it out” in a “close one”. Not only that I get to listen to fat ass Tony “Goose” Siragusa, and Daryl “Moose” Johnston talk in cliches and make bad jokes without a single break in talking. *Click*

    Go back and listen/watch old football coverage some time and note the sporadic silence. And well chosen concise words. Ah, the good old days when there wasn’t so much diarrhea of the mouth.

    Honorable mention: Repetitive cliched over-used “tough truck” commercials by pretty much every maker. Hey assholes, all your commercials look EXACTLY the same. You’re not defining your brand from anyone else. Give it up.

  16. The Winer – (Magnus Vinum)

    This species has a perpetual problem with everything, nothing is good enough and everybody is a pain in the arse.

    To be avoided if at all possible.

  17. The “I don’t wanna spend a lot of money on this project” boss/supervisor. Listen dick head, I know what you’re really trying to say – “You’re labor is expensive, so do this extremely fast… and accurate” Uhmm…. Yeah… right.

    People who like crotch rockets cause it makes them feel young. It makes you look like a moron, so please remove yourself from the motorcycle. Crotch rockets are for pre-pubescent teens that haven’t figured out what a clitoris is yet.

  18. people who go into a gas station after KNOWINGLY going over a penny and just saying ’10 dollars’

    it’s not ten dollars you douche. you owe me a fucking penny.

    I don’t mind if people ASK for a penny, don’t just act like I owe you one.

  19. [Comment ID #212832 will be quoted here]
    Being the son of a trama nurse/paramedic and having done ride alongs with her, I’ve found that people who ride crotch rockets (rice rockets, organ donorcycles, etc…) tend to remove themselves from their bikes quite easily. You know the type. They tend to “ride” wearing nothing but cutoff shorts, t-shirts(sometimes), and very rarely, a helmet. They shoot off from stoplites like they had a jet engine shoved up their ass, weave thru traffic and split lanes shooting between two big rigs. Don’t forget sittin at the light, reving the engine like they were Big Daddy Garlits at the tree… 👿

    Dave, I remember that ‘action figure’ from my childhood. I’ve never seen you change your avatar before. Is AnnieB rubbing off on you? 😆

  20. I’m not so much pissed as I am annoyed at a friend who invited me to her birthday party, then removed the event info from Facebook and didn’t respond at all when I sent her three emails asking where it was going to be. It just hurts when a friend ignores you like that and doesn’t give an explanation. 🙁

  21. are you talking about my boss? please don’t speak unkind words about my boss. he is just a poor SOB trying to make it through life the only way he can -PISSING THE SHIT OUT OF EVERY ONE (INCLUDING OUR EMPLOYER) AND THINKING HE IS THE SHIT BESTOWED UPON MANKIND TO MAKE OUR LIVES COMPLETE. So please do not be unkind to him

    👿 :limp: :puke:

  22. The one upmanship jerkoffs in school who were always trying to outbid you in conversations. If you had a five-gear racer bike, ‘they’ had a ten-gear. If your Dad liked fishing, ‘their’ Dad owned a boat. If you had an orange belt in Judo, ‘they’ were about to get their brown belt in nijitsushotowangchun kickboxing which can kill you with just a handshake.

    The problem is that a lot of those guys never grew up and you still sometimes meet them at parties. Fortunately, I am now old enough to realize that this constant need to compete and validate themselves has a lot more to do with reduced penis size than it has to do with the truth.

  23. Ah, that Six Million Dollar Man doll brings back memories.
    I was such a fan of the series that when our English Literature teacher talked about Austenesque novels, I couldn’t help imagining a well-mannered, English young lady in a long satin gown and bonnet running at 60 mph, jumping over a horse trap and throwing Mr. Darcy through a drawing room window. All in slow motion and with that ‘ta-ta-ta-ta’ sound effect.

  24. [Comment ID #213129 will be quoted here]
    That’s not a friend at all. Sounds more like a jerk who likes to tease you with a party and then jerk it right out of your hands like some puppet master…

  25. [Comment ID #213153 will be quoted here]

    Well, you’ve already given her a sex change so give her/him a small dick while you’re at it. 😛

    I hope it’s just a glaringly gross oversight on her part Meagan and all ends up well. In any event, I would remind her that you’ve already got one asshole and have no use for another one. Or take your whip to her! 😛 :kiss:

  26. [Comment ID #213155 will be quoted here]
    oh. yes. shit. well. “she” does obviously have a small penis. now. by my making or otherwise. i guess i thought these sorts of things were done by cads. i guess i thought cads were guys. mostly. otherwise. maybe i didn’t pay attention totally. and perhaps i may be a cad or a cyborg hairy yeti type. then. or displaced monkey man. but my hero heart is in the right place. in my throat. hand. foot. mouth.
    :geek:

  27. [Comment ID #212801 will be quoted here]

    So what if they get offended? Bitch-slap ’em a
    few times. :wang: :boob: :boob: :wang:

  28. [Comment ID #213158 will be quoted here]

    Oh, I knew that’s what you were thinking luv but you know I can’t resist being a smart aleck.

    I remember the kind words you had for me a long while back so you’ve always been #1 in my book under “good guys”.

    And women love guys that always “finish last”. :wang: :kiss:

  29. My cousin-Can’t really say I hate her but I know she annoys the shit out of a lot of people that see things from an outsiders POV. It’s more entertaining for me.

    -I was born April 30 she, May 5-she ensured every time she introduced us it was “She’s 4 days older but I’m 4 inches taller.
    -She finds herself suddenly attracted to the same fads I am but gets cold feet when I invite her to actually try it out.
    -Can talk the talk but won’t walk the walk. Picked fights and pissed people off but when we ‘step’ (cuz we have her back) she backs out. Sudden phone call, did you hear the phone ring?
    -She heard a rumor that I was getting married-Her mother showed up at my mothers house to tell her the wonderful news of my cousin’s wedding. :wtf:
    -I moved out, established myself, THEN got married-weeks after I told her about my divorce she moved back home.
    -Now have a boyfriend with whom I’m very much in love with, that she knows about but hasn’t met. He’s black, 6ft, 260 lbs, slight body builder (I like my men thick not bulgy, definitely bigger and older than me). She wants me to meet this one guy that’s so into her. He’s black…and shorter than me…i think I can fit him in my clothes. I said “…yeah. Not my taste, too short but he’s not mine anyway…he’s cute…so what? Double date?” “Uh…ok. Well…let me check if I can find a sitter. (change subject, never speak of it again)”

    Imitation is the best form of flattery…or something like that. 😆

  30. Anyone who doesn’t have a vision problem but still wears sunglasses indoors!! Jackasses!! 😡

    The same goes for any guy that wears a hat indoors – WHEN did that become OK? Looks stupid, BTW!

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