Kids that dropped out of school because, “My teachah’s ignernt.”
Clowns. Always clowns.
Douchebags that tell their girlfriends they can’t hang out with their guy friends, but they of course can continue to hang out with their ex-girlfriends.
People with shit taste in films who insist that despite the critics, despite what my friends have said, despite the awful trailers that I’m really missing out on the depth of Pauly Shore’s venerable acting career.
Anyone who defends Coldplay.
People who act affronted that they can’t carry automatic weapons with them into Wal-Mart.
The Illuminati. I mean, what good are they anymore?
Diehard Dan Brown fans.
People who text two-handed on their Crackberries while driving a BMW with manual transmission.
The reader who keeps mailing me Xtian tracts to save my soul.