Irrefutable Historical Evidence!

Jesus was Swedish!

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43 Replies to “Irrefutable Historical Evidence!”

  1. Anyone notice the address is ‘White House’ something? Ain’t that just a little bit of a coincedence?

  2. Swedish? Ya, und his real name was Yesus.

    Think about it, because it makes sense. After all, his main disciples name was Pieter! 🙄

  3. P.S. Ken–that sure changes communion a lot. Body of Christ, broken for you, Fish of Christ, soaked in lye until it looks like Fish Jello, uh…uh…molded for you…

  4. No, Spud! He was a clean-cut account-looking type who dug blonde chicks with big bosums. Ya, for sure he was. See the picture?

  5. Hell no, he was DUTCH!!! We had lots more water to walk on. And that walking on water ‘thing’ was a trick …… everybody (here) knows about that …. he had woorden shoes!

  6. That’s why it took so long to crucify Christ. The assembly instructions for the cross were straightforward enough and hinges where easy to put on, but screwing his hands and feet to it was really difficult with that tiny allen wrench. And then one of the Roman guards let a washer fall out of the polyethene bag and couldn’t find it so he had to go back to the store and go through that whole damn maze of bedroom furniture and fitted kitchens before he could get a replacement. Still , if you want a reasonably tasteful crucifixion that looks good in soft lighting at an affordable price, that’s what you gotta do.

  7. Perta perta borsht bhrsht. Gorta beeden berdan. Glok gok meda berda berda.

    Who would probably say this?

    That snack food looked disgusting I hope that no one buys it.

  8. So, Bjorn again Christians are from Tennessee, huh? Nah, the jokes are just too easy.

    By the way, never offer someone a Fistful of Fudge. Especially on the first date. :wtf:

  9. I like it. Advantages:
    1. Communion wafers would be chocolate dipped.
    2. Random nudity by buxom blonde women would be church approved
    3. The Immigrant Song would finally make sense.

  10. [Comment ID #45953 will be quoted here]
    The swedish chef from the muppets of course .
    Why does Yesus look like a young Steve Martin ?

  11. Oh, where to start…

    – How about that picture? I’m real sure Jesus wore a SUIT while he was delivering his sermons. The penny-loafers were excellent for those long walks through Bethlehem.
    – Jesus’ original Swedish name. Hurgen Von BergenJergen.
    – I imagine the TV ad would go something like this… “RELIGEOUS FACTS THAT YOU HAVE TO KNOW! YOUR LIFE WILL CHANGE FOREVER!” 10dollarsforthebookplus2dollarsshippingandhandlingnoneofthesefacts canbeprovenbutyourasuckerforbuyingthebookanywayssoitsfair
    CALL NOW!

    And finally…
    – The ad came from “White House” Tennessee. Wow. Need I say more?

  12. (Wow… sorry about that joke, I didn’t know it would come out looking like that! I apologize!)

  13. did he teach the sven deadly sins? was the sea of galilee really lake geneva? Friends I come unto you today to speak to you of a revelation….Gawd says tithe unto me 90% of your weekly income and I will gaurantee your entry into the kingdom or double your money back. I know this works friend, because a fellow I was confrencing with died just last week and he has yet to come back for his money….. say amen flock….halliluyas close enough.

  14. Maybe jesus’ original Swedish name was Johan Svensson.
    And of course he was wearing a suit!
    Jesus kommer från Sverige YEY.

  15. “MMMMMMM! Giant creme egg. Aaaaaaaaaagh”. Sorry, my Homer Simpson impression is a little rusty.
    Yumpin’ Yiminy, Yeesus is Svedish! Does that mean Garrison Keillor is Yohn the Baptist? ❓
    The Last Smorgasbord, Bjorn again, loaves and lutefisk- that’s why I like hanging out with this crowd of freaks!
    Anna, thanks for clearing up that whole walking on water thing-wooden shoes, who’da thunk it?

  16. They are kidding, right? I’m ashamed to say I am from the South with crap like that coming out of it. Never knew Jesus looked like a used car salelsman. How did those ancient Swedes know Hebrew and Aramaic? Looks like Mel got it all wrong in the “Passion”. What a crock!!!! 😳

  17. OMG, Hurgen vonBergenJergen?? Bjorn-again Christians?

    You guys positively kill me. Now if I could only use all this in my next sermon, titled “The Jesus you never knew.” I wonder if putting a picture of the Swedish chef next to the title would be a dead giveaway?

    Bork bork bork!!

  18. He almost looks like he should be on TV doing one of those commercials for an injury law firm…

    “GOD & Moses: Attorneys at Law”
    “We can part the Red Sea…what can they do!!??!!”

    😈

  19. dammit,i just got through explaining jesus being of color to the” born again”, racist redneck at work.it would be funny, if it wasnt true.

  20. Ace
    It’s good to know the real SNL still lives .

    Heres to the Festrunk brothers and american breast’s :java:

    Dave you need a beer mug icon .

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