I’m thankful that…

  1. …trees have bark, but even more thankful that trees cannot bark
  2. …penises don’t make a “boing” sound upon becoming erect
  3. …my teeth have never caught fire
  4. …organized religions aren’t contagious
  5. …”you are what you eat” isn’t literal
  6. …there’s no time limit on finishing a book before it explodes
  7. …I’m not neighbors with Britney Spears
  8. …Mudskippers are not the dominant species on earth
  9. …Jules Verne was wrong
  10. What are you thankful for?
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19 Replies to “I’m thankful that…”

  1. Actually, they are cute, at least to each other. But, I’d hate to have to work for one.
    I’m thankful that laptops don’t need to be held in one’s lap! :java:

    go easy on me, it’s early yet.

  2. [Comment ID #73669 will be quoted here]
    Isn’t that the horn that makes a really loud ‘AAAAOOOOOOGGGHHHAAA!’ noise that seems to always make everyone sit up and take notice? 😛

  3. I thought that organized religions WERE contagious. And that immunities varied from person to person.

    I wonder if disorganized religions are contagious.

  4. I’m thankful that…when you throw back in a drink bottle, the drink container doesn’t change colour before you hand it back.

    :geek:

  5. That when you let loose with a silent but deadly fart, it doesn’t come out in a dense purple cloud 😳

  6. I’m thankful that I’ve never filmed myself singing Total Eclipse of the Heart, or any other song for that matter.
    I’m thankful for the random music that came out in the 80s and 90s, ’cause I’m random like that. 😛
    I’m thankful for cookie dough ice cream ’cause whoever came up with that is a freakin’ genius!
    I’m thankful that doors have locks because sometimes I just want to be alone.
    I’m thankful that certain online purchases are delivered in plain brown packaging.
    I’m thankful that Buffy the Vampire Slayer taught me how to kill a demon and deliver good puns.

  7. [Comment ID #73675 will be quoted here] Bigwavdave, you’re so used to your purple fart fogs you don’t notice them anymore….they’re still hanging around long after you try to outrun them.

  8. I’m thankful that I removed all the mirrors in my house.
    I’m thankful that I never have anyone wanting to take my picture.
    I’m thankful that my hand never says NO.
    I’m thankful that being buttugly isn’t a crime… YET.
    I’m thankful that staying at home and alone all the time hasn’t made me completely nuts… YET.
    I’m thankful I have a job that lets me work nights completely alone.
    I’m thankful that people on the other side of the computer screen can’t see me.
    I’m thankful that my dog loves me and doesn’t care what I look like.

  9. I’m thankful that if you eat pop rocks and drink soda, your stomach will not explode….the things we do when we’re bored and drunk!

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