I can take a hint

The first day of the redesign, so many of you wrote to me with compliments that I was really happy I’d done it. Since then, I’ve had several complaints from more readers about several aspects of the site, primarily being able to see the entire post on the homepage and how many comments there were. So I am giving in and going back to the old layout, but with some back-end tweaks to make things better.

On another note, please excuse my absences lately. I’ve been diagnosed with colon cancer and have been in the hospital a bit. I’ve decided recently to chronicle the experiences here, but rather than depress you all (and myself) I will be writing them with the same silliness as anything else. For those of you who knew what was going on, thank you so much for the well wishes; my tests came out clean today. No polyps, so I won’t be needing surgery (yet).

UPDATE:
You can finally search everything on this site. Before, the search only looked up posts, but not the comments, Link or Videos of the Day, etc. Now it all shows up! I know a lot of you have been requesting this and frankly, I am surprised it is not the default search on WordPress. Enjoy!

73 Replies to “I can take a hint”

  1. WTF?! I leave for a few months and come back to chaos! I’m really sorry Dave. Not gonna say I know how you feel cuz…well I don’t but I know it’s awful. And of course, anything I can do to…er…perk you up, let me know.

  2. So sorry to hear the health woes. As an energy healer, I’m sending positive hippie ju-ju your direction.

  3. Dave, all of us here in the Drusky compound are thinking happy, positive thoughts for you, Nat and that Bloodthirsty feline that lets the two of you stay in the house. We’re all just about family here on the site and have your back! As a positive sign, Nicolette got her avatar back. All of Zilla land rejoices and the Zilla dudes stand at attention! :wang:

  4. By the way, will my avatar return? It shows when I logon to my account here on the site… ❓

  5. That’s great news, Dave. πŸ˜‰
    My hubby is in the hospital, since Sunday, due to a rapid heart beat and arrythmia. They have him scheduled for a cardiac inversion (sorry, I may have got the terminology wrong), but they are going to shock his heart to back to normal sinus rhythm. It’s a bitch waiting for medical personnel as you wait in those sad rooms 😑

  6. FYI you are allowed to pick your doctors and nurses. and med schools are spewing out the hottest looking (female) doctors… need i say more… πŸ˜‰
    (not to equate mine with your or anything…) i found out (after being hospital bed bound for three months) if you’re gonna be sick and in pain, ya might as well have (or find) some fun while at it. we are here for you Dave, every (dough nutty) step of the way πŸ˜›

    i’ll do my healing dance at the source of the Nile for ya πŸ˜‰

  7. Bummer Dave! sorry, I just had to go there… been there done that a few years ago, nasty nasty stuff, there is no privacy when a bloke with a 4 foot tube wants to shove it where the sun sure don’t shine.

    As for the re-design thing, as always, I get over the visual shock after awhile on all of them and then it’s just like it always was. I think. I could be wrong. What was the question again?

  8. The good news: more ass pics. :wang:

    The bad news: they’ll be of Dave’s. :limp:

    Hey Dave, congrats on being polyp free (almost makes you sound like orange juice). Here’s hoping that you’ve beat the shit out of the cancer and have wiped your bill of health clean. πŸ˜‰

    We’re rooting for you and are also :wang: to see that Astryd is back. You don’t know how much I’ve missed that ass.

  9. OUCH!!!!

    Well, Use this as positive thinking. My 62 year old father had colon cancer. He needed some surgery. I don’t have direct contact with him but apparently he didn’t need too much of that chemotherapy and radiation crap. My 80+ year old neighbor had it. He needed to temporarily have a colonoscopy(?) bag, only for a few weeks. Both guys recovered fairly fast.

    Me, I’m supposed to have periodical checks of the benign tumors in my spine to see if any of them become cancerous. I’ve done it once. They zapped me with so many x-rays my guts felt warm for a couple days. I think my pee glowed in the dark. πŸ™„

  10. Dave – good luck with the back-end tweaks. And the website too.
    Sorry – couldn’t resist.

  11. I don’t think anyone really wants to hear about ur medical problems do they? If they say they do they’re lying. I’ve got a brother that lays that crap on me every time we see each other. Thank the lord I haven’t seen him lately.

  12. On a lighter note…They give you some GREAT drugs when they shove that camera up your ass. πŸ˜‰

  13. tomsparks – you must be new around here. I feel sorry for your brother for two reasons; one, that he’s ill, and two; that he has an insensitive jerk-off for a brother.

    Around here we stand up for our pals and share in their joys and sorrows. We also respond well to a little T & A, hence the :wang: and :boob: icons.

    If you’d like to join in on the fun, then come on in, pull up a chair and enjoy the show. If you’d prefer to be an ass, we’d be more than happy to give you a colonoscopy and if we’re nice about it we might even apologize afterwards for not using any lube.

  14. Speaking of ass…Welcome back Astryd…the BOTTOM line is, you’re the best! :kiss:

  15. OK Dave – I cannot get my avatar to load. I’ve tried really hard! Honest! πŸ˜₯

  16. wow, ya, i hope that tomsparks guy was just havin’ an off day … that ain’t cool. on the upside, humorous tales of medical indecency can be pretty … dammit, it’s too early … can be pretty humorous. well, dave, hope it’s all good!

  17. Duuuude, I tried to tell you Vicks was not an effective anal lubricant! But did you listen to me? NOOOOO!
    My friend, you faith is strong, your resolve is clear. Your God will not take you anywhere He and you cannot go together.

  18. [quote post=”2166″]OK Dave – I cannot get my avatar to load. I’ve tried really hard! Honest! πŸ˜₯ [/quote]

    Not sure what’s going on with that. Will investigate. Does it appear on any older comments you’ve written?

  19. it will be “the alliens and their probes” all over again, Dave, but the good thing is this time we’ll believe ya! those southerners can’t say they got the same…. you know?

    21 wang sallute to all the Zgirls and their support towards Dave here on out

    :wang: :wang: :wang: :wang: :wang: :wang: :wang: :wang: :wang: :wang: :wang: :wang: :wang: :wang: :wang: :wang: :wang: :wang: :wang: :wang: :wang:

  20. trust me, i posted all 21 one. what going on Dave. the site is acting like a polyp! man!
    πŸ‘Ώ

  21. Yay! to Dave for kicking cancer’s butt in this round and Yay! for bringing the old site back. I h.a.t.e.d. the new one.

    And a pox on dickhead Tom… Sparks, Ignites and Poof! he’s gone… up in a puff of smoke. ❗ :wtf:

    Don’t mention it. πŸ˜›

  22. [quote comment=”404706″]I don’t think anyone really wants to hear about ur medical problems do they? If they say they do they’re lying. I’ve got a brother that lays that crap on me every time we see each other. Thank the lord I haven’t seen him lately.[/quote]
    tomsparks, your avatar must look a lot like a Polyp! πŸ‘Ώ

  23. [quote comment=”404811″]trust me, i posted all 21 one. what going on Dave. the site is acting like a polyp! man!
    :evil:[/quote]

    You have to DOUBLE SPACE between multiples Julie baby! Kinda like… πŸ˜›

  24. thanks AnnieB. always appreciate a pointer ➑ in the right direction. :kiss:

    to let y’all in on it coz i’ve seen the thing rolling out funny, i’m a straight guy. JULES -sounds like JEWELS and i was talking about DIZZNUTS when i came up with jules o de nile. again coz de nile (denial) sounds like the Nile, which originates where i live in Kenya, Africa.

    but then again: who give a rat’s ass for that explanation. we are all here to emote and have a good time and love Dave for his good works, right? πŸ˜‰

  25. good to hear you are okay. my sister had 16″ removed (no it wasn’t my 16″) but she is fine. glad you don’t have to go through that. the camera is quite something. like “the fant-ass-tic voyage” or “journey to the center of the girth”. so glad annieb is back. just in time for bumspark cannon fodder.

  26. “He who has health has hope, and he who has hope has everything.” (Arabian proverb)
    I know you will pull through this Dave. I am going to go out tonight and do my ‘Happy Ass’ dance naked under the stars to send good mojo to your backside.

  27. πŸ˜₯ WOW, so sorry to hear about your illness Dave! Wishing you ALL the very best for a speedy recovery!! My thoughts are with you & your loved ones! πŸ˜‰

  28. I’ve been visiting Davezilla for about a year and finally decided to join in. I love the humor that is displayed and when somone needs a good tongue lashing (like tomsparks) then they get it. This is a great place to get support (of any type) and a chuckle out of life. πŸ˜†

  29. Tomsparks squeezed this out from inbetween his cheeks: I don’t think anyone really wants to hear about ur medical problems do they? If they say they do they’re lying. I’ve got a brother that lays that crap on me every time we see each other. Thank the lord I haven’t seen him lately.

    Dave, If you need advise on things of the ass, This guy sounds like he has lifelong experience in this area… ❗

  30. [quote comment=”404914″]I’ll be sending positive vibes to your ass.
    :-)[/quote]

    lol! here’s hoping lizz is giving you lots of get well sex, dave!!! it’s the best medicine ever.

  31. Hey Dave, glad to hear you are keeping things upbeat throughout your ordeal. That is the best thing anyone can do. You can’t let something like stupid cancer change who you are. Kick its ass (no pun intended but HEY there it is anyway!) and keep the good times rollin’. I really wonder why that bear got all dressed up in a suit for his anal probing. Guess he really finds it a special occasion. I hope you wore a tux. Next time you are in Freakbucks, have a vanilla buscargo on me and toast to your health. πŸ™‚

    As for the revert back to the old site, I think I like this better than the new one too. (sowwy!) The new one hurt my eyes a bit but I think it has potential so it’s not all bad.

  32. [quote comment=”404925″] I really wonder why that bear got all dressed up in a suit for his anal probing. Guess he really finds it a special occasion. [/quote]
    I know, right? And why is the doctor not dressed like an alien?

  33. [quote post=”2166″]I really wonder why that bear got all dressed up in a suit for his anal probing. Guess he really finds it a special occasion.[/quote]

    My guess is that it’s left over from his vasectomy. If he was going to be impohtent, he was going to look impohtent.

  34. [quote comment=”404706″]I don’t think anyone really wants to hear about ur medical problems do they? If they say they do they’re lying. I’ve got a brother that lays that crap on me every time we see each other. Thank the lord I haven’t seen him lately.[/quote]

    May you NEVER know the sweet, sweet lovin’ of any Zilla Girl on the face of this world or the next! A pox on you TomSparks! :limp: πŸ‘Ώ :limp:

  35. i can’t resist. please do not fall for this old trick at the doctors office…. πŸ˜†

  36. Glad to hear the good news Dave. So do you get better FM reception with that new antenna they inserted? Can you hear the big bang now? πŸ˜‰ That’s the Dr lining up for insertion.

    Mandy with your philosophy you can be my nurse any day. :kiss:

  37. Hang in there, Dave. I just scheduled my first post-surgery, post treatment, post radiation sine-sono-mamogram for next week…It’s been a scary year, but I’m still here, and pretty much intact.

    Hey, I’ll show you mine if you show me yours…!

    Kat : πŸ˜‰ :boob: :boob:

  38. No sense damning TomSparks…he already is. He will have to live with regret. (Probably for every person his life has touched, he’s left his mark.) That’s curse enough.

    I think….
    Maybe…

    :boob: :boob:

  39. Wow…Hang in there Dave…glad to hear the good news so far. This is a pretty special site, as is evidenced by most of the posts above. There are a LOT of people who will be right with you from here on…well, almost with you. Me, I’m keepin’ my pants on. Way on.

    Some advice…To keep your exhaust pipe clear, you MUST stay away from the Vanilla Buscardos.

    Also…Never go back to a doctor that has both his hands on your shoulders during the back door exam.

  40. [quote comment=”405151″]Never go back to a doctor that has both his hands on your shoulders during the back door exam.[/quote]

    Good call. :wtf:

  41. [quote comment=”404807″][quote post=”2166″]OK Dave – I cannot get my avatar to load. I’ve tried really hard! Honest! πŸ˜₯ [/quote]

    Not sure what’s going on with that. Will investigate. Does it appear on any older comments you’ve written?[/quote]

    Nope…All my oldies are gone too…

    Oh, and here’s a thought…The next time doc has his digit up yer butt, ask him…”Hey! Is THAT all ya got?” 😯

  42. If ya really want to bug your doc. ask, “Do I at least get a courtesy reach around?” In all honesty, I had several tests done and my doc had the honesty and sense of humor to say, “this is not a lot of fun for me as well.”

  43. Probing? Shouldn’t I be doing that? :wang: πŸ˜›

    Congrats on being polyp free, Dave! I wish you the best of luck! :kiss:

  44. Sorry to hear Dave – Be well – Remember, YOU have cancer, it DOESN’T have you. πŸ˜‰

  45. I had the same thing done a year ago, I was cleared by my doc too. I have gotten a good bill of health on my last three visits and they say I’m good as new . It was a little uncomfortable for a cuppla days but thats all. ….glad to see you back , my daily routine was missing the laughs, and the good people here. keep-em coming Dave,,, πŸ˜‰ :boob: :boob: :knickers:

  46. Damn it DAVE! you don’t allow embeded video?

    Heres the link for the video I tryed to post for tom

  47. Congratulations, Dave!

    On being man enough to ditch that big blue UI!

    (And the no cancer news is very cool too…)

    Can we look forward to a polyp icon soon? Perhaps a polyp with a red circle and diagonal bar over it?

    Like many humanitarians and philanthropists, I don’t generally like to publicize what I do for my fellow creatures.

    But now is probably a good time to announce that the famous Dr Hoatzin’s Caring Hands Breast Exam is being upgraded! Yes, ladies, the Weekend Two-For-One special is now being extended indefinitely! Remember, a few hours of gentle palpation by my fingers is way more fun than visiting some creepy doctor’s office, with all those clinical-looking certificates on the wall. In your home or in the back of my van, it’s always the same great service and attention to detail (and my hands are always pre-warmed).

    And another Public Service Announcement: please, people, when you’re at the supermarket, buy ONLY the the orange juice with NO POLYPS. There’s a reason the FDA made Big Juice put those warnings right there on the carton, helloooooo!!!!! Our large intestines grow enough of them on their own, why would anyone want to ingest more of them with their morning citrus beverage?

    Oh, and to the dood who doesn’t want to hear about other people’s problems, may your daughters all turn out like Britney Spears, and may all your polyps be the size of grapefruits.

  48. Now u can all pat each other on the back. You’ve passed the test. You’ve proved that u’re a bunch of sniviling misery lovein’ asswipes.

  49. [quote comment=”405685″]Now u can all pat each other on the back. You’ve passed the test. You’ve proved that u’re a bunch of sniviling misery lovein’ asswipes.
    ‘[/quote]
    HEY TOM!

    FUCK OFF BASTARD! :dead: :dead:

    EAT GLASS AND DIE BIYOTCH!!!!!

  50. this tomsparks guy is too messed up for words! i think he derives pleasure from pain or is in such dire need to be the one getting the kind of attention Dave and any other deserving person is getting, that he’ll swim through the sewerage if he can find it there. just ignore him y’all. he’ll crawl back to the hole he came from

  51. [quote comment=”405685″]Now u can all pat each other on the back. You’ve passed the test. You’ve proved that u’re a bunch of sniviling misery lovein’ asswipes.
    ‘[/quote]
    this is why guys like you never get women like me.

  52. [quote comment=”405685″]Now u can all pat each other on the back. You’ve passed the test. You’ve proved that u’re a bunch of sniviling misery lovein’ asswipes.
    ‘[/quote]

    Nah, we just love ass, any way we can get it, Sparky… now be a good little boy and move along, I’m sure I hear your Mommy calling you.

  53. If tomsparks got colon cancer he would know right away. He would see it since his head is up there.

    Lake Effect said: “Never go back to a doctor that has both his hands on your shoulders during the back door exam.”
    What?! The doctor said he had to hold my shoulders while he inserted the……… OH MY GOD, I just realized, Ew, Ew Ew!!! :puke:

  54. [quote comment=”405685″]Now u can all pat each other on the back. You’ve passed the test. You’ve proved that u’re a bunch of sniviling misery lovein’ asswipes.
    ‘[/quote]

    YAAAY! We passed asshole’s test! The test seemed to be this: An asshole comes onto a humor site, posts like an asshole, then confirms he’s an asshole, and, get this–he gets treated like an asshole! YAAAY! And we passed really quickly, too. We knew he was an asshole, and that he really deserved to be treated like one.

    WE PASSED!! WE’RE #1!! WE’RE #1!!

  55. [quote comment=”405685″]Now u can all pat each other on the back. You’ve passed the test. You’ve proved that u’re a bunch of sniviling misery lovein’ asswipes.
    ‘[/quote]

    Boy, it’s sure a good thing that Dave isn’t the type that would post the email address of that turd-munching, motherless, scrotum loving piece of crap. I’m sure Dave would NEVER do such a thing (Dave, are you listening here? wink wink, nod nod…) to a fool like you. Now run along. I hear the short bus driver honking her horn outside your mom’s door.

  56. Lake Effect: WE PASSED!! WE’RE #1!! WE’RE #1!!

    We are the champions, my friends.
    We’ll keep on fighting till the end.
    We are the Champions.
    WE ARE THE CHAMPOINS!
    No time for losers cuz we are the champions,
    OF THE WORLD!!!!

  57. okay what’s going on here. you have a whole support group in 117 w. third that was never consulted or referred to or anything and after all … or did you forget or something?
    IT IS A SUECENTRIC WORLD STILL and in this universe, Davezilla does not get colon cancer. So, tell those doctors of yours they must be confused and to stick that diagnosis where the sun don’t shine and come talk to me, oh whacky one with the silly penis modacons.javascript:SJB_appendSmiley(‘:wang:’)
    i’m glad things appear to be looking up, but they should, right, because nothing is wrong, right?javascript:SJB_appendSmiley(‘:?:’)
    Sent with love from a State of Denial…
    sus

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