Happy birthday, soda lover

I was nine and going to my grandmother’s for my birthday. I loved going to my grandmother’s house. It was creaky, dark and she had children’s books dating back to the 1920s. The only odd thing about her was her recipes were … unexpected, to say the least.

This particular birthday, I was dropped off to spend the weekend at my grandmother’s with my cousin, whose birthday was a few days before mine. She made a cake for both of us.

“Do you like chocolate cake, boys?” Silly question. Of course we did. She returned with a cake with strange green frosting. Something appeared to be moving on top of the frosting. My cousin and I looked at each other nervously.

“Grandma?”
“Yes, dear?”
“What is that brown stuff on the top of the cake?”
“Coca-Cola. I know how you kids love soda, so I poured some all over the cake.”
“Oh.”

“Grandma?”
“Yes, David?”
“May I be excused?”

20 Replies to “Happy birthday, soda lover”

  1. I’ve got to tell the truth, no matter what! Hello, my name is Anna and I’m a coca-cola and chocolate addict. I’ve been clean now for 25 years. ~sigh~ the good old days ….:sad:

  2. I’ve got my meals planned out for tomorrow: in the morning, Baked Bakin’ Bolls (made with real cotton) followed by a lunch of Coca-Cola® Soup with Oh Henry Bars served in Vanilla Cake-rolls. For dinner, I’ve invited the Mock Turtle over to try some Chilean Asado Aleman and Arab Rice. We figure we can eat ourselves stoopid watching STAR TREK re-runs on SPACE: The Imagination Station while we dig into some of that Whatyousmellin’ Cake. I hope he brings along the homegrown so we can smoke our brains out. They’ll find our bodies the next morning. Caption in the newspapers: PIGS IN BLANKETS STONED COLD.

  3. Damn! I HATE getting a stupid tune in my head. If I WANTED to hear the same shit over and over for two days I would still be married to the she-bitch from hell. It’s Dave’s fault. He HAD to caption that damned photo 2 days ago “Poopybara”…

    Well, I made up new words to that damnable song and posted it under that picture. Please God, let it be gone now from my head!!!

    WARNING: IF YOU GO BACK AND READ IT, DO NOT BLAME ME IF YOU THEN BECOME ACCURSED!

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