Greek Myths in Five Words, Part I

1. Spud

   25 August, 2006, 12:33 am

   Nicely done Dave, very bloody clever indeed, a full 20 pts for this post.

   I I may…

   21. Why Cassandra got the chop
   22. How Dionysus got roaring drunk (again – with subtext)
   23. Poseidon went goes swimming nude (abridged version)
   24. Artemis gets stoned – breaking news

   :geek:

2. Timm

   25 August, 2006, 3:16 am

   Damocles was given an edge.

3. Lung the Younger

   25 August, 2006, 3:34 am

   25. Tantalus: He can’t get no satisfaction.
   26. Agamemnon: Needed a marriage guidance councilor.
   26. Icarus: Chuck Jaeger of his day. (but had the wrong stuff)
   27. Apollo: The first metrosexual in history.
   28. The Amazons: Girls gone wild, sort of.
   29. The Hydra: Bad hangover in animal form.

4. Corinne

   25 August, 2006, 4:04 am

   Um…Chuck Norris cannot be killed. By anyone. Ever.

5. Spud

   25 August, 2006, 5:59 am

   Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked Zeus so hard he became a woman.

   Never dis Chuck Norris, he sees everything.

   :geek:

6. bhamm

   25 August, 2006, 7:45 am

   Woohoo! I love Greek Mythos:

   – Chimera couldn’t decide it’s form
   – The Minotaur was mostly bull
   – Oedipus had some major issues
   – Trojan War wasn’t about condoms
   – Trojan horse had surprise inside
   – Never listen to Siren’s song
   – Hades enjoyed him some necrophilia
   – Styx is river, not band

   Last one:
   – Disney ain’t got no idea

7. Davezilla

   25 August, 2006, 7:58 am

   [Comment ID #74057 will be quoted here]

   Oh Lung, you cheated. However, being as how you are one of the funniest commenters ever, you have a chance to redeem yourself. Five words must include the name. :geek:

8. Spud

   25 August, 2006, 10:04 am

   Yeah, count the words an all lung the other. 😛

   :boob:

   It’s kinda like a new form of haiku.

   :geek:

9. plopsie

   25 August, 2006, 11:07 am

   amazons were one tit wonders
   Pandora had one nasty box
   Leda: literally given the bird
   Persephone was Hades’ old lady

10. MrDoug

    25 August, 2006, 11:49 am

    Thor: Liked to go Boom
    Hercules was a big baller
    Oedipus sniffed the mommy pot
    Sphinx riddle me this batman

11. evilmister

    25 August, 2006, 2:38 pm

    helen of troy: not skinny
    prometheus: stole fire, got burned
    golden fleece was pimp suit
    cyclops was really big brother (all-seeing eye, see brother?)
    hades did it extra hot
    persephone liked things in mouth
    icarus should’ve flown west jet
    odysseus wasn’t ‘lost’ at sea
    circe: misunderstood black magic hippy
    achilles should’ve worn high tops
    river lethe? alcoholic water course
    a hippogriff? horse, of course…
    aphrodite really liked every body

    dangitall, i could go on forever

12. Drusky

    25 August, 2006, 9:19 pm

    Jason fleeced them like sheep
    Homer’s Odyssey wasn’t a Honda
    Pegasus was not a Horsefly
    Would Pegasus leave ‘sky’ apples?
    Icarus hated his hot waxing
    Poseidon didn’t sink rolled over
    Pan was first with groupies
    Satyrs spoke with pointed tails

13. cbatdux

    25 August, 2006, 11:06 pm

    Minotaur Lost – story at 11.

14. mikeB

    26 August, 2006, 6:02 pm

    Genius, Dave. Glad to see you back to the posts you used to do. I for one, like your written work better than the photos. 🙂

15. Meagan

    27 August, 2006, 12:54 am

    Europa, first for interspecies relationships.

16. Steve-O

    27 August, 2006, 4:34 am

    Story of Perseus, Five words.

    Dictys fishes up child support.
    Mother and son, nice catch!
    Was Danae a Hotty? Hrmm…
    Polydectes seemed to think so.
    Too bad Perseus is gansgta.
    Medusa’s head as wedding gift?
    That’s cool, Perseus is game.
    Athena hated that bitch, too.
    Perseus went looking for nymphs…
    Ended up ganking an eyeball.
    Nymphs “hooked Perseus up”, hot.
    Medusa’s Lair: Everyone is stoned.
    Sleeping? How easy is that?
    Medusa’s head in Perseus’ Sack..
    Nikes free Perseus from Pegasus.
    Hotty on a rock spotted!
    Andromeda’s hot, Mom is hotter.
    Perseus kills Nessy, marries Andromeda.
    Phineus pissed, can’t bang Andromeda.
    Shit gets bad from there.
    Phineus and his crew: Stoned.
    Polydectes, want to see it?
    No need for viagra now.
    Perseus hits up athletic contest.
    Nice throw, douche: Grandpa’s dead.
    It’s cool, that’s the prophecy.
    Athena still thinks you’re badass.

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