Google doesn’t have everything

  1. Your search – “George W. Bush is a fricking genius” – did not match any documents.
  2. Your search – “I broke my monkey” – did not match any documents.
  3. Your search – “Bush ate my waffles” – did not match any documents.
  4. Your search – “Ally McBeal’s brain” – did not match any documents.
  5. Your search – “Davezilla hates popcorn” – did not match any documents.
  6. Your search – “Spamming is good clean fun” – did not match any documents.
  7. Your search – “Do mermaids get breast implants?” – did not match any documents.
  8. Your search – “The BackStreet Boys have college degrees” – did not match any documents.
  9. Your search – “crayons taste like puppies” – did not match any documents.
  10. Your search – “spanking the sea monkey” – did not match any documents.
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22 Replies to “Google doesn’t have everything

  1. WOW. i haven’t been here in a while and there’s a new design and layout. nicely done. this one is more professional looking than the one before, which was more colourful and wacky. i tohught for a while that i’d stumbled onto the wrong website. 🙂

    anyway, you’re still as funny as ever!

  2. “Everybody’s looking for that something. Something, that makes it all worthwhile.” sang the cheeky Irish boy band known as Westlife.

    But although it was a great tune, I never knew they were talking about searching on Google….until now.

    Anyway today as promised, I shall be revealing the secret passed on to me by a small Mongolian shepherd called err Stephen V. Shepherd Esq.

    It’s a good one for the ladies as I will now instruct you on how to capture and contain your very own Johnny Depp!

    Here’s how to do it:

    1/ Dig a large pit, about four Johnny Depps high should do it.

    2/ Cover pit with leaves and sticks.

    Note: Sticks should be thin enough to snap under the weight of ½ a Johnny Depp.

    3/ Hang the script for a new zany, off the wall Tim Burton film from a rope over the pit.

    4/ Hide in the bushes and ping a bra strap repeatedly. This sound is irresistible to the Johnny Depp and may even attract three or four at a time!

    5/ The Johnny Depp will try to get the script, whilst feigning disinterest and smoking and/or wearing a cowboy hat.
    If the script is bad enough for him to go all “Michael Cainey” in parts (like the Pirates of the Carribean) he will fall into the pit and into your mercy.

    There you go. 5 easy steps for the ladies to start there very own Johnny Depp collection.

    Next week I’ll be revealing how to safely kill and dispose of an unwanted Tom Cruise and will be also debating whether or not Tom Green is actually funny or just a sick little monkey man.

    :dead:

  3. Just out of interest, but would anyone be interested in Swami Vindaloo’s secret method to obtain the strength of “TEN MORGAN FREEMANS”?

    🙄

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