Fashion tips from Davezilla

I don’t mind when a person wants to shave their head bald, but if they have a head shape that makes them look like a cross between a concentration camp victim and an Idaho baker, I’d say reconsider.

UGGs still suck. Period. You still want to wear these monstrosities? I will hate you. And everyone else agrees with me.

Extreme combovers. Seriously. Die.

30 Replies to “Fashion tips from Davezilla”

  1. Whoo Hoo! First!

    Dave’s Tip#4. If you have a all white wardrobe, the Tide-To-Go pen is your best friend… πŸ˜›

  2. :wtf: Something for everyone to think about………
    If you go to Dave’s Starbucks, remember to dress well, or you will be mercilessly made fun of on Davezilla.com! 😈 :puke:

  3. My husband has been bugging me for months to let him shave his head. I have been adamant up to now as I know for certain he is one of the many who should NEVER do this, but I’ve decided to let him do it knowing I will regret it; having to look at his bald fat turtle head is not a pleasant thought, but I do love him. I hope he’s ok with sleeping in seperate rooms until it grows back. I might add that he claims he wants to do it for The United Way.

  4. Yanno, about ten years ago a friend returned from Oz with a pair of those in my size for a souvenir. This was right before they became popular in the US.

    On my way home from her house, I pitched them in a Goodwill dumpster. I thought they were one of the most hideous and obviously cheaply made pieces of crap I’ve seen.

  5. were jim and tammy fay genetic fashion disasters beget from the notorious “idaho bakers” ? either way…..her hair at the end was becoming an extreme combover. :puke:

  6. Men who wear socks with their sandals (mandals). Often seen in vacation areas, and being that I live in Southern California, Palm Springs, San Diego, Beverly Hills, and Las Vegas, all nearby getaway zones for me, are rife for this kind of fashion no nos. It does not matter white socks or black socks. You are wearing sandals, presumably to get some color on your pasty white feet. Go get a pedicure, have them talons cut and filed, moiturize those pups, and make them presentable. Otherwise, wear tennis shoes and socks and save us from seeing your feet, while we are standing in line at Disneyland, waiting to order our overpriced food, and totally lose our appetite.

  7. And thanks to my teenage daughter, a song that has immortalized UGG boots (in a way):
    “Applebottom jeans, boots with the fur,
    The whole club was lookin’ at her.
    She hit the floor, next thing you know,
    Shorty got low, low, low, low, low.

    Baggy sweat pants, and the Reeboks with the straps,
    She turned around and gave that big booty a smack.
    She hit the floor, next thing you know,
    Shorty got low, low, low, low, low.”

  8. [Comment ID #255661 will appear here]
    Amen. :wang:

    Dear Mr. Zilla person:
    We really don’t understand your unfortunate sense of ‘humor’.
    signed,
    Blanche and Oscar ‘Spud’ Baker – Tuber Valley, Idaho.

  9. Mrs. Bigwavdave was losing her hair due to chemo, so we went to my barber and had them shave her head. She looked great!!! Round and smooth, no gullies or nasty bumps. Those lucky enough to see it agreed, it was a beautiful sight to behold. Her hair is just now starting to grow back (about 1/4″ so far) and is very soft. I almost hate to see it growing as I’ve gotten used to it and love stroking it. :kiss: :wang:

  10. Don’t worry, Dave. I’ll be throwing out my Uggs soon because they have holes in them now. And for the last f-ing time, I don’t wear them for fashion, I wear them to keep my feet warm. I live in freezing Canada for crying out loud! πŸ‘Ώ

    Oh, and low rise jeans that create muffin tops. Ew.

  11. Lo-rise jeans with the Ghostbusters Sta-Puff Marshmallow man struggling to get out the top.

  12. This is kinda interesting getting spammed off the comments, it’s like making comments that have no place to go, like a spork has no place in the cutlery draw.

    You can say anything and nothing because it’s not really there after all is it.

  13. [Comment ID #255787 will appear here]

    Wow Bigwavdave… my fondness and regard for you was already quite high but it just increased by about a thousand percent. That was a helluva sweet, upbeat thing to say. :kiss:

  14. :wtf: dave! man, DO something! the bloomin link won’t let me see any pics :limp:

  15. I didn’t get a picture either when I followed the link but browsing the boots section I think I saw the offending product. UGG is the appropriate name cuz that is my first thought when I see those things. :puke: I saw a pink pair the other day and nearly cried. :wtf:

    And talking about extreme combovers…flashback to about 5 years ago…

    I can never remember the name for that little spot on your head that is the “epicenter” where your hair begins. I think you all know the spot I am referring to on the top of your head a little toward the back… anyway… The worst combover I have ever seen was a lot like the link here. The entire top of the guy’s head looked just like that. Same color, greasy stringyness, and everything. At first glance it was really really bad. Then the guy turned around and it went from bad to impossibly horrendous.

    His combover didn’t start on the side of his head above the ear like you would expect. It started on the bottom-left back of his head near his left ear about 2 inches above the hairline. That is where the “epicenter” was. He then combed it up and forward over his left ear and THEN spread it out straight over the top of his head to the other ear to resemble that photo in the link. The hair was so long it even covered his right ear a little so that he combed it toward the back again. To this day I will never forget that amazingly horrible yet fascinating sight. The epicenter was like a car wreck. I didn’t want to stare but I couldn’t look away. The entire combover was nearly a complete loop around his head and I am by no means exaggerating this story. Have some pride people and just let it go!

  16. I agree wholeheartedly about the UGGS! there have been some stupid fashions throughout the years, but those have got to be in the top 5 worst. whne I see a pretty girl earing them its such a turn off, it looks like she just decided to go out wearing her gigantic slippers :limp:

  17. I hope heÒ€ℒs ok with sleeping in seperate rooms until it grows back.

    He might be OK with a buzz cut instead of straight bald. My husband wouldn’t do well bald, but a 1/8 inch buzz smooths out the “turtleness” and looks great. And it’s FUZZY!

    I might add that he claims he wants to do it for The United Way.

    I know St. Baldricks Foundation is doing a “go bald to fight cancer” fundraiser in Dallas–they have them all over the world, I think.

  18. If you don’t like UGG’s you either don’t live near the beach or in cold weather. There are a whole bunch of uglier shoes that DON’T keep your feet warm.

    I’m waiting for the ultimate comb-over. One of these days we will see some fool with a ZZ Top beard combed up & over.

  19. [Comment ID #255787 will appear here]

    Bwd, I salute you. Your comment made my heart stop for a moment. [In a good way!]

  20. [Comment ID #255787 will appear here]
    The Mrs. is lucky to have you. If need be, show her Star Trek The Motion Picture so she can see the character ‘Lt. Ilia’ to prove bald can be sexy. anyway, thumbs up to you, BWD.

    😎

  21. Hey guys. Been poppin in but haven’t commented in a bit.
    Just givin you on some stuff. The Belen Magistrate Court in New Mexico will be holding sentencing on DWI’s at Belen High School at 10:00am our time(?) in about 7 hours. Which means I have to wake up in about three. πŸ™
    Anyway, I know this is supposed to be something big. Don’t know exactly how big but we will have as guests the Supreme Court Chief Justice of Santa Fe NM and several other big wigs. There will be news reporters and I was told it was a big deal for our little town of Belen. I just stand there and balance the ugly man effect by looking pretty! πŸ™„ πŸ˜€
    I’ll let you guys know how much is true… πŸ˜›
    Hope everyone’s great! Love ya, and wish me luck (no wardrobe malfunctions! 😈 )!

  22. [Comment ID #257307 will appear here]

    And here I thought he was going to be busting the cop’s chops. Still looking forward to malfunction pics ….. :wang:

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