Elaborate Restaurant Hoax

The Setup:
Will require three couples. Ideally, two of the couples will look similar and one couple will look extremely different from the other two (extreme height or weight difference, skin color, accent, etc.). All couples should carry cellphones with ability to text each other. The couples that look similar should dress alike too, if possible.

  1. Couple No. 1 (C1) gets a table at the restaurant. Couple No. 2 (C2) can sit at the bar or waste time in the bathroom. Couple No. 3 (C3) should wait outside for instructions.
  2. Couple No. 1 orders drinks. One of them texts C3 and asks them to call them. C3 calls back and the one who answers gets up with the phone and walks to the bar/bathroom. Say it was the woman who answered. She will now swap places with female C2 and female C2 now becomes female C1.
  3. Waitress comes back with drinks. Waitress may or may not notice that woman is different. C1 woman (formerly C2) says, “This isn’t what I ordered. I asked for [some drink].”
  4. Waitress leaves to exchange drinks. Now C1 man switches with C2 man. They order food. Make the order specific with lots of deletions due to “severe allergies”.
  5. Switch both C1s with C3 through bathroom breaks. If possible, C3 couple should wear C1 couple’s coats.
  6. If waitress hasn’t caught on yet that something is wrong by now, then it’s time to up the ante. Change accents.
  7. Refuse dessert. “Too full. You did us in.”
  8. When she returns with the check, demand to see the manager. Explain how you were refused dessert and the waitress tried to shoo you out quickly because of: weight/height/color/hairstyle. Pick one.
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24 Replies to “Elaborate Restaurant Hoax”

  1. Honestly Dave, the beginning is good but the end needs work. I’ve been a waiter for 15 years and i love the setup but just complaining to the manager about no dessert and the shooing, it’s a little weak. Why go to all that trouble for such an anticlimactic finish?

  2. You lost me at step 4; I’ll consider it again on MOnday. Right now I need
    two aspirins and a pint of old Panther Piss. :wtf: :wtf: ❗ 😈 πŸ‘Ώ πŸ˜•

  3. thats confuzeling dave but it would be a fun chalenge to accompish i think all talk my man into it

  4. Re: The link…
    Paris Hilton bitten by pet – ouch
    Paris Hilton goes to hospital for checkup and shots – ok
    After biting Paris Hilton, Pet goes to Vet for checkup – ???
    Questions…
    A) Did the pet get shots as a precaution after biting Paris Hilton?
    B) Is there a shot that immunizes you against Paris Hilton? (and where can I get it?) 😈

  5. Nice setup Dave, up to point 6, then it kinda goes wayward.

    If I may offer this continuation and perhaps somebody else can tie up the loose ends.

    7. When food arrives at the table, couple 3 are now seated at the table (this should rattle the waitress, or if goodluck is with you, she will blindly continue)

    8. C3 who were C1 after being changed for C2 now complain that the food ordered by C2 is incorrect and could the waitress please go and check the order.

    9. C3 now change with C1 and are happily sipping on their drinks when the waitress comes back.

    10. C1 now complain that the order is incorrect and ask if the waitress actually remembers serving them at this table and has she got them confused with another couple? (thus sowing the seeds of doubt)

    11. At this point C2 should walk past the table where C1 and the waitress are, being sure to attract her attention in some way, and move her away from the table area. (very important)

    12. Whilst the waitres engages C3 in conversation, C1 now changes with C2.

    how this finishes, I’m not sure, but good fun should ensue.

    πŸ˜€

  6. :mrgreen: 😐 😐 :java: the restaurant joke was ok,Spud has a great ending. As a former waitress it’s a cute joke. As for P.H. is her pet ok? She not only needs an injection but how about a brain transplant and tights?

  7. Wow this sounds like real fun!

    Make sure the drinks you send back are really expensive! I’ll bet she has to pay for getting the order wrong — that would be hilarious! Those people get a discount as one of the many percs of their minimum wage job. Better than insurance!

    Do you get extra points if the woman serving you cries? Triple Bonus if she gets fired! hahaha!

    That waitress is going to chuckle all the way home on the bus at 2 a.m.

    Especially when she remembers how everyone from the busboy to the manager took turns spitting in your food, stirring your cocktails with a urinal puck and running off extra copies of your mastercard while you and your witty friends were off sniggering in the bathroom at your infinite genius.

    Now that’s a prankin’ fun evening!

  8. Hey Dave,
    Frequent visitor, never have left a note but have laughed my ass off too many times to count. I gotta say this restaurant thing is the lamest post ever, bro. Kudos for the idea, but didja have just a little too much time on your hands when you thought it up?? I did restaurants for years and it just would not work.
    Oh well, keep up the good work. You are a permanent part of my Yahoo home page and I rely on you for daily laughs. Thanks, man.

  9. i make it a point never to screw with those touching my food or beverage,because i know what id do.and crack sweat on the rim of your margarita will taste extra salty.

  10. I guess what struck me the most about Paris Hilton’s bite story is… it’s 3am, she gets bit, so she calls her publicist.

    Her publicist. geeeez. It is a sad life that has to revolve around “what will people think?”

  11. or perhaps, hired help are the only people willing to listen/put up with her drivel on a daily/nightly basis.

    :geek:

  12. [Comment ID #73192 will be quoted here]
    stupid,dont u know karma would bite u n the ass?that shit dont happen.all ud do is piss the waitress off and cause her to have a shitty nite.that aint no minimum wage job,but u probably wouldnt know that cause u aint done it. :geek:

  13. I’m with Plopsie. I’ve never been a waiter, but I’ve been a busboy. It sucks. Can’t we pick on someone whose life isn’t already almost too hard to bear? What’s next, funny ways to pick on disabled kids?

    Dave, I’m a big fan. But this particular joke is a little too creepy to be funny.

    Sean

  14. [Comment ID #73269 will be quoted here]
    I was a busboy for a year, a waiter for three and a bartender for two. I can make fun of them all I want. No occupation is safe. All jobs suck and need some excitement.
    😈

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