Curses!

Now that the Boston Red Sox have finally won the Word Series for the first time since 1918, the Curse of the Bambino has finally been broken. This leads us to an interesting point. Without the yearly ritual of disappointment for Red Sox fans, what will they do with their lives? They no longer have excuses to be the bitter, resentful pathetic sports fans that they are.

I propose we fill that void in their lives with new curses.

Curse of the BIg Dig:
The Big Dig will suffer labor disputes, stalling its completion. It will be resolved in 2018 by a union official named George Hermann (no relation).

Curse of the Chowda
All Boston Clam Chowder will curdle after the seventh minute on the stove.

Curse of the Tea Party
For the next 86 years, tea will never last longer than 7 minutes before losing its steam.

Any other curses we should cast upon them?

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35 Replies to “Curses!”

  1. May all previously bitter Boston fans that wear “Mighty, Whitey, Tight-ies” Have their beloved utilitarian draws stained pink by mixing in a beloved Red Sock with every wash. The act will become a new mental disorder, opening up a new line of Social Work for the Curling fans.

    Did they burn cop cars?

    Frisko

  2. Curse of the Irish
    For the next 86 years all attempts to curry favour with the irish shall fail.

    Curse Of the Tea
    Every 7 years, Boston shall be inundated with a reign of teara.

  3. The curse of the fake cowboy.
    Any person caught wearing “cowboy-atire” and who is not actually a cowboy will die a horrible death by either fire or poisonous spiders.

  4. I would curse them with “Never being able to win another Word Series or World Series forever..”

    Pedantically Yours

    ReV πŸ˜•

  5. Actually that link doesn’t work! :limp:

    And I thought I’d got the hang of this website stuff…..:sad:

  6. As an Irish Red Sox Fan in Boston, I am both hurt and frightened.

    Dave, I think you have confused the Red Sox fans with Skankee fans, bitter is not a word that can be associated with Red Sox fans. Broken, shattered, emotionally stressed are. Pathetic? Pathetic would be for people who run around feeling sorry for themselves. If you have ever been to, or watched a Skankees / Sox game on TV, pathetic is not what Red Sox fans are. Violent, Obnoxious, and Drunk are words that can be used without a problem.

    I am frightened of all these curses being thrown around.

  7. Logically then Anonymous,

    Your a broken, shattered, emotionally stressed fellow with violent alcoholic tendancies and and obnoxious streak to boot.

    Where as Dave (as far as I know) has none of the above disfunctions.

    Wonder who I’d listen to? πŸ‘Ώ

  8. P.S hold that last “and”. I’ll have an “an” instead.

    Shaken but not stirred…

    πŸ˜•

  9. Jellybaby,

    Yes, I would say that would be an accurate way to describe a Red Sox fan.

    I just wouldn’t want to start any rumors that suggest we are pathetic or bitter.

  10. Well you won the World Series!

    So what you getting all bitter about?

    It’s pathetic Danno….go get plastered and have fun for Christs sake!

    πŸ˜†

  11. The Curse of the Bambino still lives, though now with a different meaning!

    All those drunken, obnoxious, alcoholic fans with violent streaks got SO excited when the Sox won that they went out and boinked all willing without thought. We’re talking good looking, ugly, thin, fat, short, tall people fornicating all over the place…………so now, in 9 months a WHOLE NEW CURSE begins! MORE SOX FANS!!!! :wtf:

    Of course, the disappointment MAY still occur…..all these offspring COULD fall in love with YANKEES FANS!! 😳

  12. Hey! I resemble the recipient of these curses!

    Really, need we continue the curses of Red Sox nation? Haven’t we suffered long enough? (heeeeeee. never!)

    Fine, bring it on!

  13. Hey! I resemble the recipient of these curses!

    Really, need we continue the curses of Red Sox nation? Haven’t we suffered long enough? (heeeeeee. never!)

    Fine, bring it on!

  14. Oh sure, Nikki. Take away our moment, already. I mean, come on! Can’t we at least bask in the glory for a **little while**???

  15. since i’m a resident of boston, and call myself a bostonian since i’ve lived here for 12 years, i have to say that bostonians will ALWAYS be bitter and resentful. it’s in their nature. pathetic, no. but all the rest yes. 90% of the boston male population hasn’t been laid since ’86. i think that’s why they are so full of hatred. :limp:
    love,
    a native new yorker who LOVES THE SOX, BABY!

  16. what about…
    the curse of the dirty undies?
    yeah, all the players’ underwear are stained by myserious brownish black smears…
    πŸ˜•

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