Childhood Taboos

Remember when your parents gave you wholly unscientific superstitions and warnings, such as “Don’t swallow gum; it will stay in your stomach for seven years!” or, “If you make a face like that, it will stick that way forever.” Nikki and I were discussing those this afternoon when I had the idea to write up some new ones.

  1. Step on a crack, break your mother’s Internet connection.
  2. If you don’t eat your broccoli, you will starve in Ethiopia when you grow up.
  3. If you don’t stop talking on the cell phone, your ears will grow over it.
  4. If you wear Uggs with miniskirts, your knees will swell up like balloons and no one will marry you.
  5. Break an iPod and get seven years of bad music.
  6. If a black cat crosses your path during World of Warcraft, you will lose.
  7. If your nose itches, it means your boyfriend is wearing too much Axe body spray.
  8. Blackout at night, hackers’ delight;
    Blackout at morning, bloggers take warning
  9. If you sneeze too hard, your chances of appearing on American Idol are zero.
  10. Which superstitions and taboos would you like to teach your children?
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22 Replies to “Childhood Taboos”

  1. If your ears are burning, then people are talking about your lack of style behind your back.
    If your right palm itches, daddy will give you $1000 to go shopping. If your left palm itches, your step-mother is trying to steal your inheritance.
    Don’t eat before you go swimming or you’ll look even fatter in your new string bikini.

  2. If you get a tattoo or piercing, people will think you’re on drugs, and you will get a disease that causes parts of your body to fall off. (Oh! wait, this isn’t a new one.)

    If you get a piercing you will forget English and start talking in an African tribal language.

  3. 10. If you keep doing that it will fall off.
    If you keep doing that you’re going to go blind.
    If you keep doing that you’re going to get hair on the palm of your hand.

    It’s still hanging, I can still see and I ain’t shaving nothing but my face. SO THERE!

  4. [Comment ID #71971 will be quoted here]

    Sounds like someone is feeling really guilty over yanking it that he needs to justify it to us :wang: 🙄

  5. do think the patch on my chest is anything to worry about? i love the drink:) ( i am a girl)

  6. do think the patch on my chest is anything to worry about? i love the drink:) ( i AM a girl) ❗

  7. If you pick your nose while listening to iPod, you will wet the bed.

    Pay attention to what you are told, or Congress will tax your music.

    Recycle everything and you will have seven (7) years good luck. Until you throw a recyclable away.

    Smoke dope and your iPod will sound tinny.

    Don’t play with yourself or your iPod will melt your body piercings.

    Do drugs and you will forget all your passwords. And forget where you wrote them down. And the police will find your passwords. And pictures.

    Take pictures without getting permission first, and your cell phone rates will double.

    Take pictures of people without clothes on, and you will go to jail.

  8. I wonder if I went to sleep on the floating bed with a picture of Superman in the Japanese Dream Machine, I’ll dream of being rescued by Superman and taken to his fortress of solitude. :kiss:

  9. Don’t smoke or the Lifestyle Nazis will throw your skinny wretched ass
    in the calaboose. 😕 👿 😈 🙄

  10. If you visit too many porno sites you will go blind, have no life, hair will grow on your hand, and you will go to hell.

  11. dont pick your nose or japanese people will make you slide down a mountain wearing only a towel 😳

  12. [Comment ID #72014 will be quoted here]

    You should see what they do on the tv show MXC. And those people volunteer!

  13. Same here. Call me sick, but I think it’s hilarious when someone runs face-first into a sheet of plywood. 😈

  14. If you listen to Bush, the japenese will kidnap you and eat your insides and your cat/dog 😈

  15. if you blow too many bubbles, you will be suffocated by the little kids that will come and try to pop them :wtf:

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