Celebrity books that never saw print

  1. Britney Spears Guide to Succesful Parenting
  2. Gene Simmons Golden Book of Celibacy
  3. Jokes to tell your grandmother, by Gilbert Godfrey
  4. Michael Jackon’s Makeup Secrets
  5. Rosie O’Donnell’s Art of Being a Lady
  6. An Illustrated History of Modesty by Paris Hilton
  7. Johnny Cash’s Guide to a More Colorful You
  8. Michael Vick’s Big Book of Pets
  9. Better English in 30 Days with Flavor Flav
  10. Shane McGowan’s Secrets to a Beautiful Smile

Your turn. What books did I miss?

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41 Replies to “Celebrity books that never saw print”

  1. The Butt-Pirates Book to understanding the National Football League….authored by all of the B-P’s in Hollywood.

  2. 11. “Make Peace, Not War” George W. Bush

    12. “A Guide to Eloquence” George W. Bush

    13. “101 Beauty Tips” Hillary Clinton

    14. “101 Hair Styling Guides” Donald Trump

  3. Positive Motivation and Uplifting Morale by Simon Cowell
    Patrick Stewart’s Big Book Of Haircare Secrets

  4. “How to make friends with Muslim Arabs”, by
    GeeDubya.
    “Firearm Safety”, by the Dick
    “Principles of Economics,” by GeeDubya.
    😈 👿 😛 😕 🙁

  5. Bill Clinton’s Expert Guide to Cigar Rolling..and tasting.

    How to Invade a Country for No Good Reason and Waste Billions of Dollars and Lives by George W.Bush.

    How to Make it to a World Series by the Chicago Cubs

    How Not to Look Like a Cheap Hooker by Pamela Anderson

    A Bird Watchers Guide by Stevie Wonder

    John Candy’s Guide to a Slimmer You

    A Toe Tapper’s Guide by….whatever the Idaho senator’s name is…

  6. “Kama Sutra Positions I have Practiced in the
    Back Seat of A Studebaker”, by AnnieB. :boob: :thong: :wang: :wang:

  7. [Comment ID #217752 will be quoted here]

    I believe that would be “Kama Sutra Positions I Haven’t Practiced in the Back Seat of (insert any make or model here)” :wtf:

  8. [Comment ID #217759 will be quoted here]

    Close, but no cigar. The great state of Georgia,
    which used to be Democratic until the damYankees
    moved in. :puke: 👿 😈

  9. Nurture your friends and grow free, by Hilary Clinton.

    Being an honest man and a loyal husband provides all the joy I need in this life, Bill Clinton.

    How fungus under your fingernails can taint your cooking, by Rachel Ray

    Celebrating my successful TV season, by Tony Danza

  10. “A Guide to the Natural Wonders of the Earth and What We Can Do to Preserve It” presented by the Exxon Corp. :dead:

  11. How to Win Friends and Influence People by Honest John Howard with a special foreword by Tony Blair and George Bush.

  12. “The Power of Positive Drinking” – Oliver Reed

    “Chicken Shit for the Soul” – Karl Rove

    “Inherent Paradoxes within Einstein’s Theory of Relativity and their Influence on Modern Particle Physics” – Paris Hilton.

    “Jesus, Who Does a Guy Have to Blow to Get a Beer and a BLT in this Cave?” – Osama Bin Laden

    “Out of My Cold Dead .. Something or Other.” – Charlton Heston.

    “How to Completely Take Your Mind Off Eating” – Terri Schiavo

    “The Art of Shakespearean Stage Acting” – Steven Segal.

  13. “Everything Does Taste Like Chicken” – A compilation of short stories from the Andes plane crash survivors.

    “The Anorexic’s Guide to Cleaning Puke Off Your Shoes” – Lara Flynn Boyle
    supplemental reading: “The Anorexic’s Guide to Keeping Puke Off Your Shoes”

    “The Celebrity’s Guide to Great Downhill Skiing Locations” – Sonny Bono

    “101 Fun Places to Urinate” – R. Kelly

    “The Illustrated Guide to Pudding” – Bill Cosby

  14. DaveZ’s Office Guide to Corporate Website Building.

    SITES and SOUGHNDS of Mirka by J.B (two initials) president Numbskulls Inc.

  15. “hairstyle” by Cruella deVille

    and that ever-popular mishmash, co-authored by Robin Leech and Mme Toussaud:
    “Wax Lips of the Rich and Famous” 🙄

Comments are closed.