Caption Time #142

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34 Replies to “Caption Time #142”

  1. Yes friends, another case of a dicky-do belly; translated: my belly sticks out more than my dicky do.

  2. Ruth stared. Yes, Jerry was capable of that macho, ‘In college I could ..’ competitive silliness, but .. wow.

    Jerry must have been into the 3rd or 4th shot of tequilla, when their son-in-law mentioned he had seen their daughter Melanie hook her feet behind her head. The twit then claimed he had tried it, and couldn’t get his feet past his ears. So of *course* Jerry claimed, ‘I taught my daughter how to do that! Watch this!’ Oh, my.

    Now Jerry sits there, arms locked on his sneakers. Asleep. And the twit even had to ask, ‘Is he all right? What is that gurgling sound?’ Melanie, bless her heart, went for a couple of towels. Maybe Ruth wouldn’t have to shampoo the carpet again this week, but it didn’t look good.

    Perhaps a few stems of galdiolii stuck in the legs of his shorts would look cute, maybe some lettuce on the floor, and … oh, this is terrible. Did she dare? Ruth bet herself she could stuff a full tray of ice cube down his trunks before he woke up…

  3. In light of the Bush administration cutbacks in military spending, the Navy unveils one of its’ new anchors. :wtf:

  4. “Eddie, I swear I seen this guy suck his own dick. If I can just Nnnnnnnrggghhhhh get my mmmnnngnnnnhghhghghh” :wtf:

  5. Something doesn’t look right here. When I bought this “do it yourself” man from Ikea, the easy to follow instructions were in French and there were way too many parts. I didn’t remember it saying “Heavy Duty” either.

  6. If they can bowl with midgets you can bowl with me, now stick your fingers in the holes and roll me!!

  7. This adaptive skill of the Wiley Bald Headed Gluttonoid is learned to provide access for “our bulky hero” to Airplane restrooms.

    It’s also handy for “Where’s my Grilled Cheese” and other Games of the Wiley Bald headed Gluttonoid.

  8. :wtf: “Hey, I can smell my own ass from here.”
    :puke: “Now if it weren’t for my big gut, I’d have no need to keep a woman around.”
    :limp: “Sad thing is, even if I succeed in getting my dick into my own mouth, I’ve got diabetic related erectile dysfunction.”
    👿 “Unfortunately, this is the only position where I can see my nuts without benefit of a mirror…”

  9. If you are looking for your feet, they are by your ears, if you are looking for something else, it will NEVER happen. The position alone guarantees its prolly gone for good……….

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