Are you eating feet again?

Certain foods smell great if you’re the one cooking or eating them, but if someone else is—”particularly at work—”they smell vile. Others only smell good at certain times of the day. Some examples:

  1. Chicken Soup: If it’s yours, it’s comfort food. If someone else has it, it smells like a frat boy’s fungused feet.
  2. Curry: Delicious if it’s yours. Burning dog fur if in the office.
  3. Parmesan Cheese: Toothsome on pasta. Cat pee on the nostrils.
  4. Roasted Garlic: Mouth-watering if you’re the one roasting it. In someone else’s home, you’d swear the Montauk Monster was rotting in their refrigerator.
  5. Popcorn: One of the four food groups, but in a microwave it’s as if long-dead seagulls were perishing in the pantry.
  6. Maple Syrup: An appetizing smell first thing in the morning. Later in the day, it smells like a diabetic coyote peed on your carpeting.
  7. Crumbled Blue Cheese: ‘Nuff said.
  8. Fritos: Tolerable when eating. In the hands of another, they’ve been soaking in the ball sweat of an Chacma Baboon.

What foods smell bother you?

25 Replies to “Are you eating feet again?”

  1. Spaghetti-Os.

    Always loved em, especially when I was a kid, but they gave off a faintly vomit-like smell when heating them up.

  2. [Comment ID #395064 will appear here] When I had my first child, I was so waiting for the day when she could share a can of Spagetti-Os with me. Unfortunately, she is allergic to dairy products, and cheese is listed in the ingredients. Years later, I thought my second child would be the redeemer, they even made the pasta in her favorite character, Dora the Explorer. She hated it the first time I made it for ‘us’. So, unfortunately, I end up eating the entire contents of the can-criminy! 15 ounces!!!! I don’t even want to look at the calorie count!

  3. I used to work in a distribution center of a company owned by Taiwanese, with the majority of employees of Taiwanese descent. Nothing is worse than ten employees cooking weirdly seasoned left-over fish/sea food. Ugh. I am sooo careful about what I bring for lunch that has to be heated up in the microwave at work.

  4. Cabbage (or anything in that family) – smells like sick FART!

    Fish – good to eat – the market on the other hand… (i think of the Grim Reaper)

    once i was out on a date and this lady next table ordered some cheese, till today I’ve never figured what that was but it was all i could do to convince my date i had not shit my pants! (was the lady being punished? what was that, had she been cruel to her kids and the government found out so she had to do time -LIKE THAT?)

  5. Shrimp –
    Sweet tender white meat indeed, but the smell it leaves on your fingers for the rest of the day is nauseating. Also here in Spain, it’s said that the tastiest part of the ‘gamba’ is the inside of its head. So in seafood restaurants all round the country, one can see finely dressed gentry yanking the heads of the poor little decapods and (very loudly) sucking the insides out.

    (Yes, I realize that a comment about sucking the head of shrimps is inviting innuendo – Mandy behave!)

  6. OK I’ll be the first at it, “what the fuck is a gamab?” well, it’s a dyslexic African Shrimp! :dead:

  7. Kim Chee – OK, it’s an aquired taste, but regular users (mostly Korean) have it oozing our of their pores. You can smell it on ’em when they walk by… :puke:

  8. Poke salad- For those south of the Mason-Dixon Line. You’ve got to boil that crap three times and change the water in between before it’s NOT poisonous and that alone should have been enough of a clue, but nooo! Before I became old enough to think I could stand up for my rights as a human being we had to go out on Saturday mornings and pick that crap. Kind of like tying your own noose for the executioner. The stench, as I remember, is kinda metallic and it will permeate the entire house. Nasty to the enth degree!

  9. In Kenya we have large Tea Farm. when they are in bloom – which is a number of time a year – they stink up the whole neighborhood from their “aromatic” flowers! smells literary like shit on your shoe would.

  10. I LOVE steamed broccoli, but it makes my house smell like noxious farts. Not only when I’m cooking, but also the day after my boyfriend eats it! :puke:

  11. Do not watch that damn good eats show! I watched the one about lobster and thought to myself, “Yeah I could totally do that.”

    Like a dumbass, I did, and yeah it was easy, but the smell that permeated my home for the next month was pure tortue! :puke:

  12. [Comment ID #395168 will appear here]
    I was always told that the difference between like and love was a spit and a swallow… 😈

  13. [Comment ID #395079 will appear here]

    We gave my daughter her first O’s in the Dora shape. Now she calls all pasta Dora’s

  14. [Comment ID #395228 will appear here]Dam straight! I’m way south of the Mason–Dixon line and I was enjoing a supper of boiled chitlins until I read these posts. Now I cannot
    finish. I hurled them. :puke: 👿 😈 😳

  15. My uncle used to make beef kidneys, but had to boil the piss out of em… :wtf:

    He’d also make his own dog food using top ramen noodles and hotdogs, boiled for about an hour and a half. :puke:

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