Annual Thanksgiving Day List

Longtime readers know that every year I write a list on Thanksgiving of what I am thankful for. This year is no exception. Please let everyone know what you are thankful for in the comments.

I am thankful that…

  1. …Sarah Palin is back to being America’s prettiest moose hunter.
  2. …cats cannot manipulate Plutonium.
  3. …unlike killer bees, poutine has not managed to cross the border into the US.
  4. …Uggs are not mandatory school uniform wear. Nor are Crocs.
  5. …Paris Hilton has disappeared from the media spotlight.
  6. …icebergs cannot fly.
  7. …mullets are popular again. Just for the comedic value I require.
  8. …people still don’t “get” Twitter, cause I’ll have a job as long as they don’t.
  9. …my parents don’t text me in LOLCATSPEEK
  10. …we do not serve balut for Thanksgiving.

14 Comments

  1. Are there different varieties of balut? Turkey balut or ostrich balut? It IS the most replusive food item I have ever seen. Thank you for bringing it to my attention.

  2. I’m thankful that I get to celebrate both Canadian and American Thanksgivings. More turkey!
    I’m thankful that I didn’t throw up on the teacup ride at Disneyland yesterday.

  3. fruf

    I’m happy that there are enough plumbers available after thanksgiving dinner
    that Timmy’s has crossed the border
    that black friday is only once a year.I have never before seen the type of people who line up
    that I am now exploring the fact that I can drink as much as I have and still tpyye

  4. I am thankful my husband is as much of a sexual freak as I am. It’s nice not to be judged.

    I am thankful I went from lowly employee to running the company in 6 months at my job.

    I am thankful that even though my dog was horribly murdered by another pooch, I still had him for as long as I did. Irresponsible pet owners suck ass! 👿

    I’m thankful for our online community. Some of the finest, most twisted people I know! Happy Thanksgiving all.

  5. [quote comment=”637758″]I am thankful my husband is as much of a sexual freak as I am. It’s nice not to be judged.

    I am thankful I went from lowly employee to running the company in 6 months at my job.

    I am thankful that even though my dog was horribly murdered by another pooch, I still had him for as long as I did. Irresponsible pet owners suck ass! 👿

    I’m thankful for our online community. Some of the finest, most twisted people I know! Happy Thanksgiving all.[/quote]

    Aww, sorry about your dog!

  6. I’m thankful that Sarah Palin is American. I just wish that Stephen Harper was.
    I’m thankful for my family, my friends, and even most of my fb friends.
    I’m thankful for Meagan’s boobs, Mandy’s ass, and Nicolette’s kinky side.
    I’m thankful for the way my life is going. It’s got it’s ups and downs like everyone else’s, but I wouldn’t change a thing … except maybe to give my wife Meagan’s boobs, Mandy’s ass, and Nicolette’s kinky side.

  7. [quote comment=”637761″]I’m thankful that Sarah Palin is American. I just wish that Stephen Harper was.
    I’m thankful for my family, my friends, and even most of my fb friends.
    I’m thankful for Meagan’s boobs, Mandy’s ass, and Nicolette’s kinky side.
    I’m thankful for the way my life is going. It’s got it’s ups and downs like everyone else’s, but I wouldn’t change a thing … except maybe to give my wife Meagan’s boobs, Mandy’s ass, and Nicolette’s kinky side.[/quote]

    I’m thankful for my boobs too. 🙂

  8. [quote comment=”637761″]I’m thankful that Sarah Palin is American. I just wish that Stephen Harper was.
    I’m thankful for my family, my friends, and even most of my fb friends.
    I’m thankful for Meagan’s boobs, Mandy’s ass, and Nicolette’s kinky side.
    I’m thankful for the way my life is going. It’s got it’s ups and downs like everyone else’s, but I wouldn’t change a thing … except maybe to give my wife Meagan’s boobs, Mandy’s ass, and Nicolette’s kinky side.[/quote]
    i too, am thankful for mom giving me a nice bum!!! :thong: and i am thankful that davezilla is still up after 11 years! go dave!!!! :kiss:

  9. [quote comment=”637763″]
    i too, am thankful for mom giving me a nice bum!!! :thong: and i am thankful that davezilla is still up after 11 years! go dave!!!! :kiss:[/quote]

    Be sure to tell her that I’m a fan of her work.

  10. junkman

    im thankful i finally found out how i died this summer after that bee sting.

  11. Welll, alrighty then, seeing as I be a good citizen from Canadia, tout le monde celebrate dat Tanksgiving in deh mon’ Octubre because, calis Tabernac dat weather up here is congelating dose brass balls of dat Monkey.

    /end quebecois mode.

    And, I am thankful,

    – that I can speak French! And English! And Spanish! and “deine Papieren, Bitte!”
    – that Santa Claus lives in Canada — the north pole is in Canadian territory!
    – that we Canajuns celebrate the 24th of August as “White House Burning Day!”*
    – that my current loved one needs no breast augment surgery whatsoever.
    – that the 2009 version of STAR TREK was a great movie, and that I saw the premiere in Canada! :geek:
    – that Harper really is a Reptilian from another galaxy!
    – that my Mom, bless her, is still alive and I got her into her own house again!
    – that Ron Paul is a great American, and an inspiration for all of us, even us Canadians!
    – that some insider in the CRU released 60MB of internal documents and emails about the Global Warming Hoax! Hey, it wasn’t russian hackers… it just wound up on russian servers.
    – that people are buying Tar, Feathers and Rope for a special party for Al “the Whore” Gore!
    – that Turkey really tastes good, if you do it right.

    *actually, British troops did it for us, after American troops burned York (Toronto)

    :geek:

  12. freckleface

    I’m Canajun too and i’m thankful to celebrate Thanksgiving when it’s warmer…

    thankful that i can make my co-workers laugh so hard they cry and my boss has no idea why…

    thankful that my young son is turning out to be just as warped as me (and my late father before me)

    thankful that i can speak french to english telemarketers and english to french telemarketers (et la meme chose pour les police!)

    thankful i don’t look my age

    and thankful i have a lot of wonderful friends on both sides of Canajun/Ahmerican border 😉

  13. Patrick

    I am thankful to Mandy’s and Meagan’s and Nicolette’s moms for bringing such gorgeous freaks into this world. They do a lot for cancelling out all the trolls walking around. Please call your respective mothers over the weekend and let them know we appreciate the effort.

  14. I am thankful that…

    …God created bacon.
    …Miley Cyrus will someday be old and grey.
    …Glen Beck does not live in Europe.
    …thumbs oppose.
    …women can’t read minds. (or so they tell me)
    …I wasn’t born a turkey.

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