Anagram Interview: Ashlee Simpson

DISCLAIMER: Before you scratch your head or send me hate mail, please note that this is a fake interview. The answers were created by rearranging the letters in Ashlee Simpson [anagramming].

Davezilla: What’s the worst thing about touring in a van like this?
Ashlee Simpson: Homeless pains.

Davezilla: You’ve been touring a lot lately. What are your off days like?
Ashlee Simpson: Lameness. I shop.

Davezilla: Do you ever get recognized in public?
Ashlee Simpson: I shop nameless.

Davezilla: Briefly describe your personality.
Ashlee Simpson: Simpleness. A ho.

Davezilla: What kind of men are you attracted to?
Ashlee Simpson: Salesmen; so hip.

Davezilla: That’s a rather short, tight miniskirt. I can see your [ahem].
Ashlee Simpson: Loin passes hem.

Davezilla: How does your costumer help you get out of a skirt like that?
Ashlee Simpson: Soaps hemlines.

Davezilla: Your skirt has tiny holes on the sides…
Ashlee Simpson: Pinholes seams.

Davezilla: When you dress that way, do you get men pawing you?
Ashlee Simpson: Assholes nip me.

Davezilla: You told some rather contradictory statements after your little hoedown on SNL.
Ashlee Simpson: Lie opens shams.

Davezilla: Is there anything you don’t like about your boyfriend?
Ashlee Simpson: Penis has moles.

Davezilla: Did you get mad when your producer edited your lyrics?
Ashlee Simpson: She’s slain poem.

Davezilla: How do you work out to look good for the boys?
Ashlee Simpson: Simple. Hone ass. Hips lasso semen.

Davezilla: Do you keep in contact with other celebrities?
Ashlee Simpson: Melissa phones.

Davezilla: Melissa Etheridge? What do you think of her?
Ashlee Simpson: Has simple nose.

Davezilla: Ever call Jessica?
Ashlee Simpson: Phones lame sis.

Davezilla: So you record, sing and [cough] dance. Any other sources of income?
Ashlee Simpson: Also ship semen.

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12 Replies to “Anagram Interview: Ashlee Simpson”

  1. “Loins pass hem”

    Truly it was spoken…

    And the masses coughed

    And the loin didth pass the hem

    All hail the hemloin!

    😀

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